Todd Wiltshire admits that his future with Oxford - and speedway itself - is in limbo.
The 38-year-old Australian has retired twice before, once because of a serious back injury and supposedly for good a couple of years ago.
However, a breakdown of his marriage last year prompted him to rethink his life and he returned to Oxford as good as ever.
Asked if he would be coming back next year, he said: "I wish I knew what will happen in the winter ahead. I really do.
"I can imagine the questions going through my head about my future and to be honest with you, I don't believe I am sitting here now.
"I retired gracefully and that was my intention, I often wonder what I am doing here. I wish I had the answers for everybody.
"My main concern is for my children in Australia. I left Australia in a hurry in April and I have to get back there and see what's happening back home.
"My children are not living in the same place as when I left and I am not happy about that. There are a lot of things I have to tackle when I get home.
"My main priority right now is to make sure I get on that plane after the last couple of meetings I have to do and take it from there."
Reflecting on his season back at Cowley, he added: "I just jumped on the plane and came back here as soon as I could and arrived with an open mind.
"I wasn't up for any big stuff such as Grand Prixs or the like, I had no idea what would happen.
"I was coming to a strong club, with plenty of friends that would give me the support I needed.
"I had no great expectations. I knew I could ride a motorcycle and and I would give it my best shot.
"I'm very appreciative that I have managed to score points and keep my head above water financially.
"I was able to send money home for the children and life goes on for me. In the end I have to be very pleased and grateful the way things have gone."
"Aaron Lanney has done a tremendous job when you think what he had to start with.
"I wasn't around in the Tony Rickardsson days, but the team has settled down.
"Whether I'm a better rider or not is not for me to say. But in this game you reach your peak and than tend to mess around, but the way I feel at the moment I could ride for another three years.
"But if I do that I have to sacrifice my family, my country and many other things, so there is a lot to mull over during the next few months."
It was fitting, therefore, that Wiltshire was voted Rider of the Year by the Oxford Supporters Club at the end-of-season party at the Green Road Club on Saturday.
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