Driving and myself have never been the best of companions.
From the days I owned a Ford Capri with go faster stripes, my record on the roads has been more chequered than the flag they wave at the end of a grand prix.
My boy racer days in the Capri were numbered after I skidded on snow and wrapped it round a lamp-post.
Within weeks of it being repaired, it was stolen from a multistorey car park and never seen again.
Since then I've rolled a Ford Fiesta up a motorway embankment - and back down - stuck another one in a ploughed field and careered into a hedgerow in a Mazda MX-5.
But driving smart cars at speed continues to hold a certain fascination.
And so when the chance to take the wheel at what was described as 'the nearest thing to a Formula 1 car' around Silverstone, it was too good an opportunity to turn down.
I'd been past the home of the British Grand Prix on many an occasion - on the way to watch horsepower of another kind - the four-legged variety at Towcester Racecourse.
But I'd never attended a motorsport event.
Arriving at Silverstone for the Single-Seater Experience - as it's called - you are met with a vast array of poles with banners on reminding you just where you are.
This is a place steeped in motor racing history - one of the most iconic circuits in the world.
And now I'm about to follow in the tyre tracks of legends such as Fangio, Stewart, Mansell, Senna, Hill, Schumacher and Hamilton.
Having negotiated security, I'm directed around a mile and a quarter to the Stowe circuit - a track within the Grand Prix course.
On the way I pass stands alongside sections of the track such as the Hangar Straight and Stowe and Club Corners - names that are synonymous with the famous circuit.
Eventually I arrive at the Single-Seater Experience.
Having parked up alongside Stowe Circuit and registered, it's time for a media briefing with Silverstone presenter Steve Deeks.
He thinks he recognises me. I'm pretty certain we haven't met before, but I ask him if he's a former policeman. He replies "No".
Having had several brushes with the law on Her Majesty's highways, this is reassuring news.
It soon becomes clear that Deeks has unbounded enthusiasm for motorsport - and it's infectious.
If, by any chance, you aren't already excited by the prospect of what lies in store, you certainly will be once he's finished the briefing.
"This will be an experience you won't forget - one the fighter pilots go for," he promises, while at the same time stressing that safety is paramount.
He runs through details of the cars we'll be driving - a Formula Silverstone, which has been expertly engineered to provide a genuine racing experience.
It has a 1600cc Ford Durotec engine and 140bhp, and can accelerate from 0-60mph in five seconds.
This sounds pretty impressive - although some way behind a Formula 1 car with it's 2400cc engine and 730bhp, with the ability to rocket from 0-60 in 2.4secs.
Deeks also gives advice on driving the car, along with a briefing on the track - which measures 0.8 miles - and the various rules of racing.
It's then time to don the driver's gear, with help from his assistants, Andrew Bentley and Martin Terry, top Formula Ford racers.
The racing overalls I'm given are red with large thin black squares on them.
They look like something that Spiderman leaps about in. But fortunately they don't fit, and I'm handed plain red overalls instead.
With a white balaclava to go under a black helmet, and gloves with pimpled palms on the inside to increase grip on the steering wheel, I'm ready to find my car.
The anticipation is building by the second - albeit now with a certain amount of trepidation.
Bentley demonstrates how to get into the car. "Put both feet on to the driving seat, and then ease yourself down as if you're getting in the bath," he says.
An explanation of the minute dashboard follows. There's an on-off switch, a button to fire up the car and a rev counter - but no speedometer, so drivers keep their eyes on the tarmac in front of them and don't look to see how fast they are travelling.
With all this information whizzing through my mind, it's time to get into the car.
I'm assigned blue car No 16. It certainly looks like the real thing, with its snazzy shape and wings similar to an F1 car.
I ease myself in as instructed and find myself lying just inches off the ground, cocooned in a fibreglass overcoat.
To get a hang of the car and the track, drivers follow a pace car in the first of two sessions.
A Seat Leon is used for this purpose with my colleague, photographer Damian Halliwell, in the boot with the tailgate up to take pictures as I speed around the track.
I flick the switch to on, and push the start button. Vroom! The car fires up with a roar.
But then, phut! It cuts out as I let the heavy clutch out too quickly and it stalls.
In fact, the clutch is not just heavy - it's rock-like and I stall three more times before I finally get the car to move out of the pit lane.
But then I'm out on the track, and drive round the first bend, and down one of two straights.
We have been told to use just third and fourth gears once on the track, and after breaking, I drop into third for the next series of bends, before returning to fourth as we come back into the straight alongside the pits.
The car may have a silky-smooth appearance.
But looks can be deceptive. It's a racing machine through and through. It hugs the corners, but there is a fair amount of vibration as it rips round the track.
The pace car gradually builds up speed as each lap passes, and I get more used to the handling.
This session lasts around 20 minutes - and then it's time to be let loose on the open track.
I'm among five cars, and we move off one by one.
I'm fourth in line, and after stalling twice this time, I move off.
A yellow flag signals the track is clear and with a clear road in front of me I negotiate the first bend and then put my foot down.
With the open track in front of me, it's very tempting to go hell for leather.
But with my driving history, self preservation is the order of the day. This is no time for heroics.
There are no other cars in sight, and I seem to be making good progress around the track when all of a sudden I see a marshall waving a blue flag.
This signals that I should allow a car to overtake - or undertake as it actually works out.
Having been focused on the road ahead, I look in my wing mirrors and see blue car No 2 on my tail.
Coming out of the bend near the pits lane, he moves to the left and shoots past me.
I put my foot down to try and catch him, but he leaves me trailing, and then I see a red car and another blue car in my wing mirrors.
Before another lap is completed, the marshall is waving the blue flag again, and they shoot past me on the next straight.
I try and chase the trio as they snap at each other's tails, hurtling around the track at speeds up to 100mph. But my pursuit is in vain.
Then I come to the series of bends approaching the pits lane.
The driver of blue car No 12 has spun off on to the grass - and in spectacular fashion. It remains there for several laps until it's pushed back on to the circuit.
With mud strewn across the track from the car's skirting, I move up on his tail as he struggles to regain speed.
And, with the marshall waving the blue flag to give me the go-ahead to overtake, I pounce like a lion on a wounded gazelle, easing the car to the left before screaming past, and then moving back on to the racing line before the next bend.
A minor victory at last. But my joy is short-lived. Within a lap, the car I have overtaken has regained its speed and sweeps past me.
By this stage, the 20-minute session is coming to an end.
The chequered flag is hoisted to signal the final lap, and I know my concentration is fading as I make an almighty hash of dropping down from fourth to third gear.
I pull up in the pit lane and the oil light is flashing - no doubt partly caused by my far-from-smooth driving.
I may not have been the fastest on the cicruit - but I've kept the car on the track. And with my previous off-road experiences, I see that as quite an achievement.
Deeks and his colleagues are keen to get our verdicts.
"It's great fun," I say - and if you are a real petrolhead you'll love it.
Tackling this circuit has inspired some drivers to take up the sport.
So, will it be move over Lewis Hamilton in my case? Hmmm, maybe not.
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