Went to see Neville’s Island staged by the Banbury Cross Players last week and I have to say they made a great job of it.

The comedy by Calendar Girls playwright Tim Firth throws up list of problems that must perplex even the most professional of production teams. For starters the set is a fog-bound island in the middle of Derwentwater and the action unfolds through thirteen scenes and encompasses a lighting and sound plot that would grace any son-et-lumiere.

Much credit must go then to Director John Bennett and his team of Set Designers and indeed the whole backstage crew for this very professional production The play has echoes of the film Deliverance, opening with four out-of-condition, middle-aged white-collar business men on a team building exercise being washed up on the deserted island after their boat hit rocks.

Jem Turner in a solid performance as team leader Neville quickly asserted his authority instructing his motley crew to don dry clothes. Unfortunately Gordon, impressively played by Andrew Whiffen, has lost his rucksack in the lake that also contained not only his wardrobe but also the food rations for the hapless four.

What follows is an hilarious train of events with Angus (Nik Lester) making a desperate last call on his failing mobile phone asking his wife (she who never goes out) to send help. Of course he gets the answer phone as she has gone out.

Angus proceeds to present the team with a sausage he saved from breakfast but alas whilst reheating the said meat feast on a picnic stove he happens to have, he makes the sign of the cross still holding the frying pan and casts the meal into the lake. This well acted scene quite rightly brought gales of laughter from the appreciative audience in the well-filled Mill Arts Centre.

Stripped of all luxuries and creature comforts, the quartet must now learn to fend for themselves with no food, no heat and no hope of immediate rescue.

Gordon as the ambitious Production Manager who wants to join the board of his company drives the pace of the play. He plays on Angus’s fears as to where his wife as got to with some great well-delivered comedic lines.

God-fearing Roy (Andy Allen) provides a convincing performance as the Finance Manager returning from over a year off work after a breakdown and now having found religion.

All four characters played their roles particularly well and with the size of some of the parts it seems churlish to mention the quick succession of prompts halfway through the second act. The play did however seem a little long which wasn’t helped by the lack of seating legroom, which seemed to have been designed by Toulouse Lautrec.

Banbury Cross Players deservedly have another hit on their hands and must be congratulated on tackling such a challenging production.

A litle story now on the benefits of keeping fit: An 80-year-old Scotsman went to the doctor for a check-up.

The doctor was amazed at what good shape the old fellow was in and asked: 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'

'I am Scottish and I am a golfer,' said the old fellow: 'and that is why I am in such good shape. I am up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a wee glass of whisky, and that's it.'

'Well,' said the doctor, 'I am sure that helps, but there has to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?'

'Who said my Dad died?'

The doctor was amazed. 'You mean you are 80 years old and your Dad is still alive. How old is he?'

He is 100 years old,' said the old Scottish golfer. 'In fact he golfed with me this mornin', and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had another wee dram and that is why he is still alive.

He is a Scot and he is a golfer, too.'

'Well,' the doctor said, 'that is great, but I am sure there is more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?'

'Who said my Grandad is dead?'

Stunned, the doctor asked, 'You mean you are 80 years old and your grandfather is still living! Incredible, how old is he?'

'He is 118 years old,' said the old Scottish golfer.

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point: 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?'

'No. Grandad couldnae go this mornin' because he is getting married today.'

At this point the doctor was close to losing it. 'Getting married!!

Why would a 118 year-old bloke want to get married?'

'Who said he wanted to?'