Picnics aren't what they used to be. They're better.

  For those of you unfamiliar with this popular sporting fixture, country folk and wannabe country folk descend in droves to a field near Wantage to enjoy a spot amateur horse racing . . . and some lunch.

  Although, I think I can speak for most people when I say the day is more about the race to the bar than placing bets.(I embraced the day by donning a Pashmina to fit in with the Dubarry-wearing Hoo-ray Henrys, but drew the line at chain-smoking Marlborough Lights). Anyway, apart from the supping of ale, it’s worth going just to admire the quality and extravagance involved in a modern-day country picnic. Gone are the days of tea in a flask and a cucumber sandwich on a rug, let me tell you this now. Strolling up and down the rows of 4X4s, it’s clear the humble picnic is now nothing short of an outdoor banquet.

For out the rear of one car came a full set of garden furniture, (with cushions), two gas cyclinders, a tablecloth, mini fridge, full set of cutlery and a barbecue. And that’s before you’ve got to the food.

Then I spotted a good half a dozen cool boxes, two legs of beef, a smoked ham, or three, several pork pies and enough beer and wine to fill the booze aisle in Waitrose, darling. Quiche also seems to be another outdoor dish of choice.

But despite this blatant evolution of the Great British Picnic, eating alfresco still has its pitfalls and dining outdoors on a 45 degree slope can challenge the most experienced picnicer.

And for the less elegant picnicers such as myself, who invariably manage to sit on a sausage roll, its a nightmare. That's why I queued for a cheese burger.