Scene one: Interior: Harvey Weinstein's office.

Jude Law enters and flashes one of his cheeky chappy smiles.

JUDE: Harvey, you're not gonna believe this, but I've found the perfect project.

HARVEY (suspicious): It's not another Michael Caine remake is it?

JUDE: Uh…yes. But before you go on about the woefully ill-conceived ego trip that was Alfie, or indeed the ludicrously pointless Sleuth, listen to this.

JUDE USHERS HARVEY INTO A CHAIR, CLOSES THE DOOR AND STANDS RESPLENDANT IN ACTORLY POSE.

JUDE: Right, picture this. A blazing hot sun beating down on an endless vista of sand.

HARVEY: The Man Who Would Be King! Great choice, Jude.

JUDE: No, too philosophical. I'm being chased by an irate local.

HARVEY: Zulu! Inspired.

JUDE: Too political. There's a beautiful young girl in a bikini.

HARVEY (incredulous): You've got to be kidding Jude. Nobody, not even Sadie Frost would pay to watch you camp it up in a remake of Austin Powers-Goldmember.

JUDE: Come on Harvey, I've got more class than that.

HARVEY: So what is it then?

JUDE (smiling inanely): Blame It On Rio.

CUT TO: Exterior: Office block.

From the twelfth-floor window a body falls to certain death onto the sidewalk.

THE END