IT goes without saying that over the past few weeks I have been enjoying the Olympics and secretly enjoying the silliness of the opening and closing ceremonies.

I loved the transformation from green pasture to industrial landscape and I am ashamed to say that my soft spot for the Spice Girls was rekindled on taxis – a touch of genius.

I was really intrigued to see the Paralympic opening ceremony. I had heard it was going to be about enlightenment. Good idea I thought as disability and enlightenment pair together nicely and especially as the majority of the viewers would not have a great deal of experience of those with disabilities.

But as I began to watch to watch the ceremony my heart sank. As someone who has no issues with my disability, I was expecting to feel pride and curiosity; instead my overwhelming feeling was sadness.

As the athletes streamed in, I found it hard to watch guys my age who have undergone accidents much like mine. It was weird to see such a volume of people using wheelchairs, crutches etc. Immediately I wanted to flick channels but I stuck it out.

I guess I never see myself pushing and rolling.

Yes I am used to seeing photos of myself and the occasional reflection in a shop window but to see hordes of people in wheelchairs was certainly uncomfortable for me.

I guess it’s a bit like ‘well, you belong to a minority’ so you must feel a kinship.

Every disability is individual to that person and that includes how they view themselves within the disabled community. I have always been an individual and I certainly don’t feel like a paralympian – I feel like Niall.

Weirdly I also felt sadness about the poorer nations and their cheap (and undoubtedly heavy) wheelchairs. As someone who used to live and work in Africa, it made me think how insanely tough their lives must be.

Since the opening ceremony left me feeling melancholy I have mostly avoided watching the Paralympics. The few events I have watched feel somewhat voyeuristic.

There is a freak factor – missing limbs and wheelchairs are relatively common place in the public psyche but some of the less common disabilities are shocking, even to me.

Obviously I recognise that the Paralympics is a great event for those who have a disability and enjoy sport and I naturally appreciate that the media coverage and discussion of disability will always be positive. However, for me, I live with disability daily and don’t need to be reminded of how life can change so drastically.

I hope the opening ceremony enlightened others but for me I prefer the Spice Girls dancing on taxis – admittedly less inspirational but also less upsetting.