WHAT I’M CALLED: My name is Timmy Mallett. With two Ms, two Ls and two Ts.
WHAT I DO: I’ve discovered recently that I’m an adverb and adjective and a noun and probably various other bits of grammar too. “He did a Timmy Mallett!”, ”I’m feeling all Timmy Mallett!”, “That’s just so Timmy Mallett!”.
WHERE I LIVE: I live in Berkshire, close enough for my son Billy to go to every Oxford United game, home and away, without missing a match in over two years. However, as the county boundaries keep changing I expect I’ll have a new address before long, even in the same house.
PROUDEST BOAST: Being Number One in the charts on our wedding day with Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini and the organist playing it as Lynda walked down the aisle. It went on to sell a million copies around the world, so that’s pretty high up there.
I once malletted Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.
Last month I won up-and-coming artist of the year, which is a thrill. To be up and coming and over the age of 20 is a big achievement, I think. Last week my Ring A Royal phonebox in aid of Childline went up at the Royal Albert Hall. Esther Rantzen asked me to be involved so I said yes without asking enough questions. Then a full-size phonebox arrived. I had to climb up scaffolding to paint it and wanted to recognise the Diamond Jubilee so it features Her Majesty the Queen, Prince Harry and Catherine the Duchess of Cambridge on the phone in a callbox. You can see it online at youtube.com/brillianttv. Later in the summer it will be auctioned by Sotheby’s at the National Portrait Gallery in London to raise money for the charity Childline.
LESSONS LEARNED: Carpe diem – seize the day and smile often. I’ve also learned that it’s almost impossible to multi-task; friends and family are vital; scoring goals doesn’t get any easier; bonfires are brilliant; cycling is better than walking; books with pictures are nice; your health is everything; I love a stage; laughter is the best medicine, and I adore fish pie.
DULLEST JOB: I once sold brushes door to door when I was a student. Selling them was okay, meeting people was nice – taking the orders round in a wheelbarrow and then finding that people weren’t at home was not so good.
LIFELONG HERO: People who stick to what they believe in and keep going.
Nelson Mandela, quick to forgive and generous.
Rolf Harris, who always says to me “you wouldn’t be dead for quids”.
Linford Christie: “This win is for all those Christmas Days when I was out there training instead of tucking into turkey.”
Archbishop Thomas Cranmer – who supposedly kept his wife in a trunk when Henry VIII came to call, in case the king got jealous, and famously plunged his hand into the flames when he was burned at the stake for heresy on Broad Street in Oxford, saying “this hand signed the recantation, this hand shall perish first”.
And James Constable who taught us the value of loyalty at Oxford United. Thank you, Beano.
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