I think it was our experience at WH Smith, in Cornmarket, that put us in this frame of mind, but shortly after trying out its new serve-yourself aisle of tills, some friends and I found ourselves engrossed in the subject of just what music we would want played at our funerals.

For such a morbid subject, I’ll wager there aren’t many of us who haven’t engaged in this ‘game’, at least once in their lives. Whether Christian, spiritual or whatever else in outlook, it’s an irresistible little itch, isn’t it? – imagining that you’re looking down on your own remembrance service, chuffed to bits that Wanda from accounts is crying while your wife seems to be bearing up just a tad too pluckily.

Whatever, I can’t help but admit a gleeful pleasure at my choice of tunes, sensitively picked to accompany me into that great Beyond.

Of course, on a personal level, I doubt I’ll be there to suck up the tributes, but in principle at least, I have to admit I always find this type of conversation deliciously self-indulgent.

Indeed, I can imagine now that as the red felt curtains close (I’ve chosen to be cremated as I have a tattoo), and the opening bars of Simon Smith and His Dancing Bear start to blare out, there won’t be a dry eye – or nose – among the congregation.

Written and performed by Alan Price, it’s just such a whimsical song, that whenever I hear it, even today, I can’t help but smile. And let’s not forget, it’s a catchy little number too, which if you’re on your way to a wake, can only help the digestive process.

My second choice of musical tribute would be the theme from The Odd Couple, a hugely successful film starring Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau.

My whole life, they’ve been my two favourite actors, and in The Odd Couple, they both play reporters. The fabulously hummable theme was written and performed by the great jazz pianist Neal Hefti who, you might be moved to learn, also wrote the theme to the 1960s Batman TV series. It’s so jaunty and New York Madison Avenue, I can’t help but think it would remind mourners of my commitment to free speech, the power of the written word, and lunch expenses.

My third song – and this time it IS a song – is ManaMana, the first ever sketch performed on the first ever episode of The Muppets. I remember it as if it were yesterday – two weird, identically pink creatures, joined by a lime green and ginger-bearded beatnik, who added the all-important ‘Do doo be-do-do’ during those beautifully-timed intervals.

How it would comfort those grieving to know I’d been a sensitive and deeply passionate man. And that I think would cover it.

Some of my friends suggested hits by Whitney Houston (I Will Always Love You), Jennifer Rush (The Power of Love) and Bette Midler (The Wind Beneath My Wings) but in truth, WH Smith had already depressed me...