I’m often asked by friends: “When you write your column, how do you make the bridge from the water’s edge of inspiration to the far shore of accomplishment...?”

Although of course they never quite word it that way – normally they just mumble: “So, how do you write that $%&*!?” And normally I tell them I just write that ‘$%&*!’ because if I don’t, my landlord will evict me.

Sadly, in journalism, despite the romantic hue we like to give our profession, there’s little if any time for inspiration.

Inspiration takes time, and on the pages of a regional newspaper, it’s unlikely you’ll ever have need to write a 3,000 word thesis on the ascent of man.

No, what matters is that you write, every hour of every day, and if by chance you do happen to write something poetic or meaningful, then that’s a bonus and a pint well-earned.

Yet despite this fact, most journalists do harbour a secret fantasy of writing a best selling novel. And there are some who have done just that – to huge financial and critical acclaim.

But for most of us the problem isn’t the inspiration – it’s the time.

Nearly all journalists will have two or three Catch 22s or One Days on the back boiler (or so they’ll claim, late at night, in the bar), just waiting to be actually written.

And given enough free time, they probably could write the next GREAT classic. The dilemma is the space of time between writing ‘The End’ at the finish of one’s 75,000 word opus and seeing your masterpiece in print.

Because as journalists we’re spoilt; we are and always have been a generation that craves instant gratification. And we get it too.

Hand on heart, the rush of writing a column – or anything – such as this and seeing it in print the very next day is nothing short of...thrilling. Trust me, there are few greater highs. Indeed, I can actually recall writing a Comment piece for a newspaper at 8.30am, and seeing it being read in a newsagent at 11.30am, just three hours later. That IS instant.

If I had to wait two, three, 10 years for something I’d written to ever appear on the shelves of Waterstones, and sell, I think I’d have to be rewired internally.

I’d either have to be canonised or acquire the emotional reflexes of a tree sloth. In fact, anything with a ‘wait’ time of 72 hours is – and I’m being precious here – just tooooooooo long to wait.

I’m too used, too ruined to wait any longer. So while I’d love to write a book, any kind of book (Birds of Britain, Trains of England, Interesting Soups...), complete with a hard spine and cover price, the simple fact of the matter is, I’m too impatient.

I need my daily fix...