FORGIVE me Oxford, for I have sinned. Unable to wait even 12 hours after the clocks moved forward, on Sunday I found myself committing a seasonal crime I like to call ‘selective geographical omission’. I’m not proud, but once spring arrives, bringing with it visitors from all around the globe, the temptation to commit a bit of ‘SGO’ increases tenfold. But before you judge me, be warned; if you’re particularly proud of living in Oxfordshire it’s a crime you too may have unwittingly found yourself committing on occasion.

For me it all started when I collected an Irish friend off the train from London.

Having just spent the previous 20 minutes shuffling from one place I shouldn’t be parking to another, I was delighted when just moments later she gushed about how beautiful Oxford is.

Admittedly as you head towards Nando’s (not pretty) you do catch a glimpse of the castle mound and Nuffield College (very pretty). Then as you pass Worcester Street car park (hideous) and turn left, there is no denying the journey from Worcester College past the Ashmolean and the Randolph is a bit like a step back in time.

In the 12 or so years I’ve lived on this side of the world, all of my friends have been very tolerant of my transient lifestyle.

Usually I don’t spend more than a couple of years in one location, which means they’ve had to visit me in all manner of places, including Peterborough and Swindon… Enough said.

Nowadays though, I don’t have to bribe them with offers of free food, drink and money to visit. In fact they tend to drop by very regularly, and when they do, the temptation to use SGO (selective geographical omission) is at its peak.

For those of you unfamiliar with ‘SGO’, it works like this, when friends come to stay I take advantage of their lack of local knowledge to only drive them past what they would call ‘the really nice places’.

Here’s an example; if you were to ask my friends the way to my house in Headington from the station, they would describe a route that takes you via St Aldate’s, up past Christ Church (it was in Harry Potter don’t you know) and down the High Street.

Or if you were to ask them how you get from Summertown to my home, they would also only be able to describe the route that takes you past the University Parks and the Museum of Natural History, down Longwall Street, then past Magdalen College and South Park.

On the odd occasion, I’ve even managed to take a jetlagged visitor or two into Broad Street under the guise of it being ‘on the way’.

I do feel a little guilty that they’re not seeing the entire city, but if it keeps them coming back, I figure a little bit of ‘selective geographical omission’ goes a long way to helping boost our local economy.