Monday found me driving through the usual apocalypse of early morning traffic, hitting the CD button on the car stereo just as the six o’clock news finished.

AC/DC blared out of the speakers, which was a bit of a shock to my eardrums at that time of day, but I thought…why not?

How appropriate then that the unmistakable intro of Highway to Hell kicked in just as I turned on to the A34!

As part of my regular winter employment, I spend quite a few months at one of the world’s longest standing and best-loved F1 teams.

I look forward to this part of my working year, apart from the gruelling journey to and from the team’s HQ.

I swear that someone, somewhere, has a voodoo doll of my car and is merrily sticking big truck-shaped pins into it on a daily basis.

A recent survey revealed that motorists often resemble their vehicles in much the same way as animal-lovers look like their pets.

Well, the last thing you need when you are negotiating some of the world’s most narrow and poorly designed slip roads is a big fat truck that appears to have been on the same diet of pies as its driver, trying to squeeze you into the verge.

You are then plagued by their smaller but no less annoying partners in the conspiracy to ruin your day.

These are generally small cars that have a resemblance to newborn puppies looking for somewhere to pee. They have an instinct to go somewhere but are not quite sure where.

If you ask me, this road should be extended to three lanes, one for truckers, Smart cars and Micras, and the other two for the rest of us.

I know that historically extensions to the A34 have been opposed violently; who can forget Swampy and his army of tree-huggers fighting against the Newbury bypass?

Well, if the lentil bashers had to get to work on the A34, they probably wouldn’t be quite so keen.

Indeed, perhaps they would like to run the gauntlet of rush-hour traffic?

What a sight that would be, a procession of campers, bicycles and sandals battling their way through Armageddon on tarmac.

They could be joined by the MPs and councillors who saw fit to withdraw the funding that had been allocated to improving this nightmare route.