Usually columnists try to get your attention with what we call ‘an attention grabbing headline’. I can’t think of one this week, so I thought I’d just start with …..‘I’m going to Afghanistan this weekend’.

First stop Kandahar, then on to Camp Bastion, the UK’s largest military base and centre of operations in Afghanistan.

According to the MoD, Bastion is home to over 20,000 Navy, Army and RAF military personal and contractors from both this country and the U.S. According to Jeremy Clarkson, it’s so safe there, he didn’t even bother with getting insurance last time he visited. Fortunately my boss doesn’t see things the same way.

And thank God for that! Because I’ve fast discovered myself and my three colleagues are surely the biggest bunch of misfits who will ever set foot there.

I mean, if you were in charge, would you let a group of radio presenters who caused a minor security incident at the Afghanistan Embassy on to your base?

Mind you, leaving a bag that contained a piece of recording equipment under the main counter is an easy error to make. Although the man who came running outside shouting at us as he thrust the bag towards us didn’t seem to think so.

Then there was the day we visited RAF Halton in Buckinghamshire to collect body armour. Not only did my dear colleague Rosie forget to bring photo ID, she also suggested to the incredibly tolerant policeman on the gate that he could ‘Google’ a photo of her on her website as proof of ID. Then to cap things off she too also managed to leave her rucksack behind as she walked out. But the less said about that, the better.

The embarrassing tales continued with Trevor, the fourth person in our party asking if there was a swimming pool at Bastion (because after all, it will be about 25 degrees). Fortunately someone within the MoD has managed to locate him a pool. Although technically it is only used to cool down the dogs, but if they don’t mind he’s welcome to it.

We’re scheduled to spend a week on base finding out what life will be like out there, in addition to catching up with some of Oxfordshire’s serving personnel. Bet... they… can’t... wait.

In the lead up to our visit I’ve learnt the military is famous for its love of acronyms.

Familiar ones like A.S.A.P, A.W.O.L, and the less familiar (and slightly scarier) such as F.O.B which is a forward operating base, and I.E.D, an improvised explosive device.

For this trip though I think someone needs to warn them to crack open the dictionary to add in another in honour of Jack’s Airlift to Camp Kandahar And Secret Sleepover, or as it’s more commonly referred to as – Operation J.A.C.K.A.S.S.