I have to confess I’ve stolen an idea for this week’s musings. I saw a book the other day where a group of celebrities were asked to write a letter to their teenage selves. Some of them gave out advice, others dished out encouragement for the future, whilst a few just reflected on how the world had changed over the last few decades.
Maybe it’s because of a desperate need to help teenage me through those turbulent years, but for some reason I really want to write one of those letters to myself. So here goes.
Dear Teenage Sue, First off, stop panicking about your bouffant hair. In about 15 years a very clever person will invent something called hair straighteners, and those glorified BBQ tongs will change your life, baby!
Alas you’ve still got another decade and a half of putting up with hair even Fifi the poodle would be proud of.
On a serious note, spend more time with your parents, especially your dad. It’s only when you get older you realise they won’t be around forever.
On the subject of your brother, you will stop fighting one day, but it will take you moving to the other side of the world for it to happen. Oh, and that place you move to? It’s called Oxford, at the moment the only thing you think it’s famous for is dictionaries.
At some point you’ll realise it’s got one or two other things going for it.
If a guy called Roger ever asks you to go out, don’t waste your time, he’s gay. You also might want to ask mum and dad not to throw out the green telephone beside their bed. Keeping it will save you buying one in about 30 years time during a fit of nostalgia for around 30 times the price they originally paid.
Same goes for your Famous Five books, don’t let dad throw them out, because one day after a few drinks (yes legal ones), you’ll find yourself buying the whole collection on something called eBay for far too much money.
On the subject of friends, when you’re 20 don’t get a lift home from a party with friends of a friend (trust me, this piece of advice will save you two operations and several broken bones).
Not long after this you’ll discover the internet, and something called Facebook where you’ll meet up with friends from school who you won’t have talked to in over 20 years. Bizarrely you will find most of the cool kids who don’t talk to you now will talk to you then.
When it comes to love you’ve got some amazing times and some sad times ahead, but I’m not giving you any warnings on that, because experiencing them all is what life is about.
Oh, and one other really important thing? The words Facebook and eBay that I’ve mentioned? You might want to trademark them (ask dad what that means). And if google, youtube, twitter, ipod, ipad, blackberry and Virgin are still available, grab those as well...
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