ON Saturday night I discovered one of the most persuasive negotiating tools in the world. ‘Womanly Wiles’? Come on! Like I’d be writing a column titled Sassy and Single if I knew how to use those!
No, this was something so powerful it had the ability to extract money from people in all walks of life within the blink of an eye.
And what’s more; it wasn’t through any form of deception whatsoever. In fact it was something so clever it was able to literally sit under the noses of hundreds of people in Magdalen Street.
What was it? A beggar’s dog. But not just any beggar’s dog; one that was so incredibly cute, barely a person could walk past without: (a) stopping to talk to him while (b) muttering something involving the word ‘irresistible’ as they reached into their pockets and purses.
To give you a better idea, let me describe this fellow: light brown, large, very scruffy, with two brown eyes that would melt even the coldest of hearts.
I showed a friend a picture of him (… okay, yes, I confess I surreptitiously took a photo of a beggar’s dog, it wasn’t a high point in my life, but then neither was the moment where the thought of stealing a homeless man’s dog crossed my mind).
Anyway, my friend said he looked like an oversized “Benji” dog.
Well, I have to say move aside Benji and, while you’re there, take your pals Lassie, the Littlest Hobo and Rin Tin Tin with you, because even if I added all your cuteness together, it’s still got nothing on the power that furry little feller was wielding.
As I looked at the people all but lining up to empty their cash-filled pockets into the little bag at the popular pooch’s paws, I noticed there were two other, sorry to say it, uglier dogs snoozing behind their furry friend.
It was like they knew they didn’t have a chance against their ‘Next Dog Model’ pal.
Such was the power of this four legged version of Oliver, I witnessed no less than two girls come out of a supermarket with food, clearly having gone out of their way to buy him dinner.
Heavens, I know married women who can’t even get their husband to do that for them!
It was truly fascinating to watch the attention this dog commanded. And this was a seriously tough crowd he was tackling. Okay, by ‘tackling’ I mean sitting on the pavement looking forlorn, but still, that’s one more expression than most of today’s Hollywood starlets have conquered.
No, I mean tough, because most of the people walking past had just come from seeing Stephen Fry perform at The New Theatre. Not that I’m inferring Mr Fry’s fans are cheap, it was more that half were in quite a hurry to get back to their cars before they had to take out a small loan to pay for city centre parking, while the others didn’t really look like they encountered beggars too often, if you get my drift. In fact, some of them were so classy they made ME look like I was homeless!
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