T he other day I heard about a new invention that at first I thought was pure genius. However, after giving it further consideration, I realised this so-called life-changing creation, developed by some whizzkids in Japan, could just be the beginning of the end of people wanting to ever set foot outside their own front door!

What is this evil invention, you ask?

Advertising billboards that not only recognise you, they also then pop up a customised message designed to appeal only to you.

In theory this could be great. I mean, if an advertising company could combine my love of David Tennant with a raunchy Diet Coke break advert, I’d probably get completely suckered into buying whatever deal they had on offer (I would also probably go several blocks out of my way to walk past it every day, but that would be far too embarrassing to admit).

But, then as I read a bit more about this technology, I started getting a little scared.

Apparently there are a couple of different ways to personalise these advertising messages to appeal to average Joes like us.

One involves clever software that recognises you as you walk past. Which at first sounds brilliant, but here’s a thought. If it’s smart enough to recognise me, will it also be able to realise I’ve put on weight recently?

What if I’m walking along the street with a bunch of friends, only to suddenly have a billboard flash a giant message up in front of us which reads “Hi Sue, looks like you need to go on a diet, why not try “Z-list soap star’s diet plan!”.. Or worse still, as I walk past an advert for some funky new season clothes from a High Street store, the billboard merely flashes up a message saying “Sorry, not available in your size”. Ouch!

And if that’s not scary enough, the other thing they’re talking about involves fancy sensors that can not only detect your supermarket reward card, but will then instruct a computer to tailor the adverts to the types of things you usually purchase.

Sounds cool?

Absolutely!

How brilliant would it be if you were absentmindedly heading for your car after work, and up popped a little advert reminding you probably need to pick up milk, bread or a little ice-cream treat?

Genius!

Not quite. Because, imagine these scenarios…. What if your other half had secretly purchased a dodgy magazine when he popped to the supermarket for a few bits and bobs? Or maybe you’ve recently picked up your Nana some extra-absorbent Tena Lady’s? Worse still, what will happen if you’ve recently purchased an anti-fungal cream to cure a particularly nasty rash? The possibilities for public humiliation are infinite!

They say you can’t stand in the way of progress, and I wouldn’t dare, but I will thank my lucky stars this technology hasn’t arrived in Oxford yet. Because as I look at last weekend’s shopping list, it genuinely did contain these items; plastic bin liners, rubber gloves, bleach, rat poison and a very sharp cooking knife.