Far be it from me to get involved in local politics and planning, but just this once I’ll stick my oar in and say – Carterton Town Council, you have GOT to get Tesco to open a store in your neighbourhood (Oxford Mail, Oct 28).

For all the obvious reasons of course (their flower bouquets for instance really do last more than a week, and their ‘lifetime’ carrier bags are genuinely sturdy), but also because any store that can have as its spokesperson a Mr Felix Gummer is, in my book at least, a very reputable and progressive company.

Like Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl or Lemony Snicket, it’s a name that just conjures up... possibilities.

Why, with a little creative sleight-of-hand, Felix Gummer could become a world-class secret agent, a daredevil wine gum manufacturer, or the first man to ever eat an entire 747 (cut first into bite-size pieces naturally).

Frankly the possibilities are endless, because let’s face it, names mean everything.

That’s why Harry Webb became Cliff Richard, Reginald Kenneth Dwight became Elton John and Maurice Micklewhite became Michael Caine. And it didn’t do their bank balances any harm.

My own parents were originally going to call me Barnaby which, as I still remind them, would have almost certainly led to my early demise (either at the hands of bullies or more probably my own).

If there are any Barnaby Smiths out there, I apologise, I’m sure you’ve led rich and fulfilling lives, but for me the name just conjures up an image of a leprechaun bagging groceries at the Co-op. Still, it could have been worse – it could have been Dwayne...

Mind you, I once worked with an Angela Thing who, while boasting a lovely and endearing personality, wasn’t exactly going to steal the crown from Cheryl Cole in the looks department (her black-and-white headshot in the staff magazine, captioned A.Thing, didn’t do her any favours either).

I think if I could have chosen my own name – and who hasn’t played this game? – I’d have liked Sawyer. As for the Smith part, I’d have opted for Curtis – Sawyer Curtis.

It just sounds like the kind of name that would go down well at parties, impress at cocktails bars, and leave people thinking I was Wisconsin-born, Harvard-taught, and New York-savvy (Jeremy always smacks of ‘nice but dim’ and ‘Smith’ has all the personality of a dialling tone).

But that’s because I’ve grown up and am now more mature; when I was in my 20s and first breaking into papers, I thought ‘Jerry Manhattan’ sounded cool.

I am only grateful I haven’t had children. The responsibility of choosing a name for your own offspring must be daunting. At least if it’s a dog , you’ve got the fall-back option of ‘Spot’ or ‘Rover’.