The Electric Chair — not a subject to generate a feel-good mood. And until last week, it would have put me in an angry sulk too.

But then I went to the cinema and over the space of two hours, realised it might not be such a bad idea after all.

Obviously, capital punishment is usually associated with serious crimes such as murder and treason, and thankfully in this country has been outlawed since 1965 (in fact, hanging for treason was only abolished in 1998).

And I'm certainly not suggesting hanging (or the electric chair) be reintroduced as a deterrent for those who kill. But state sponsored execution for those who a) talk b) eat loudly, or c) send and receive texts during the screening of a film is certainly something I would support.

And yes, before you ask, I would be prepared to throw the switch.

A few weeks ago, the Phoenix Picturehouse in Walton Street, Oxford, was debating whether to take popcorn off its menu for one screening a week, and although this ground-breaking trial is yet to be introduced, at least it's a step in the right direction.

But having sat through a special screening of The Mist at the Odeon in Magdalen Street last Tuesday evening, I fear that initiatives like those proposed by the Phoenix don't go anywhere far enough.

Sweets and snacks aren't the real problem; it's the behaviour of moronic cinemagoers. For instance, on the night I went to see The Mist, it was screened in the Odeon's smaller screen, which holds about 60 people.

The audience was about 20 strong, and yet despite a superb sound system, all I could hear were a party of three who insisted on talking. And 10 minutes into the movie, another group walked in, and they too were clearly not satisfied with just watching.

No, they wanted to text. So I was treated to the familiar 'ding, ding' of their phones (one, wearing a hoodie, even considerately pulled his up so he could take a call).

And 20 minutes later, a group of foreign students wandered in and started, almost immediately, to translate the dialogue into Spanish or Italian for their friends whose English wasn't as good as theirs.

Which is when, understandably enough, I gave up. Threw in the towel. Exited stage left.

All that comforted me during the next 90 minutes was how the death penalty, and in particular, the re-introduction of 'Old Sparky' might prove a practical deterrent.

Sadly, the bottom line is public electrocutions are unlikely to ever be introduced, so cinemas instead should dole out the punishment to avenge this crime.

Personally, I’d force ’em to watch The Sound of Music (the sing-a-long version) with the volume cranked up.