If you've read this column before, you'll know I'm expecting a baby, and now comes the point when I write my last column for a while before taking time off for the birth and some maternity leave.
Men won't understand this unless they've got a huge beer gut (and even then, it's not quite the same), but carrying a huge bump is really tiring and I'm at the stage now where I can't wait for this baby to be born.
Cycling is easier than walking (or waddling) now, so I'm even cycling to the end of the road rather than walking!
This is where I make a statement I probably won't ever repeat, but I'd really like to thank the Oxfordshire Conservatives! Yes, the county council is great - for helping me start contractions, that is.
I still cycle regularly down the road where I used to live in East Oxford (Charles Street, off Iffley Road). It has probably the best set of nightmarish potholes in the city you could imagine.
So what does this mean for me as a 39-week pregnant cyclist? Well, cycling over a bumpy road is a handy way to bring on labour. Yes, there's a more traditional methods, such as curry, pineapple, raspberry leaf tea. Yes, yes, yes, but I'm an active and impatient sort of woman, I'm not going to mess around, and I want results! I should point out that my last labour was brought on after my friend decided we ought to run across a field, as she said that was what dog trainers do to bring on their puppies.
Anyway, I should explain that the county council cancelled the planned home zone' for the Charles Street area after spending loads on consultation, so the plans for nicely flat roads or a proper parking area never came to fruition. (Funnily enough, they didn't cancel the home zone in the more true blue area of Charlbury.) But at least there is now the positive side of not having to bite my nails and pull my hair out willing the baby to appear when it's nearly two weeks overdue - those potholes will see to that. (But Oxfordshire County Council: please, please, please mend the road afterwards!) Until now, my cycling has been quite uncomfortable due to the baby having been the wrong way up, in a breach position (which is actually the right way up but not, if you see what I mean). The baby had its head under my rib cage which, for cyclists, is very uncomfortable every time a pothole is encountered.
I had plenty of suggestions on how to get the little one to point its head downwards, and tried most, including swimming, acupuncture (more like toe burning but it nearly worked) and floor scrubbing, which didn't work but my house is spotless now! Thankfully, I finally got the hospital to sort the baby out and into the correct position, and I no longer feel sick and am cycling at a better speed now.
After all this energetic work, I'll hardly have any energy to change a nappy - well, this is my line anyhow. I just need to work out how to fit the moses basket on the crossbar and I'll be ready for the birth. See you again in a few weeks to let you know how well bikes and newborn babies go together.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article