I’VE always been a fan of Kate Winslet since she always seemed like a sensible, curvy English rose with a dirty mouth and a wicked laugh.
But recently I saw an interview where she said divorce can be good for children since, ‘it’s very important to teach your children to struggle’.
She essentially proposed that by learning to live with adversity and trauma at an early age, children are more likely to grow up adaptable and resilient. True.
However, we shouldn’t make a PR case for it: Divorce (you know you want to!) : it grows your children up quicker, the hard way!
I say this as the product of probably the best divorce ever.
My parents were always loving, always very amicable with one another and recognised that I was their priority.
Still, I used to cry into my pillow every night. I missed my father terribly, despite the fact I saw him three times a week and that he only lived round the corner.
I wouldn’t wish those feelings – abandonment, guilt, sadness, grief and confusion – on any child. Regardless of how much it may prepare them for the treacheries of adulthood.
Incidentally, Kate is the product of a seemingly loving – and still ongoing – marriage. I wonder if she’d feel differently were she not?
Divorce can be improved by two, loving and mature parents but it’s always a source of sadness.
Winslet would be foolish to fearlessly underestimate the impact of her divorces on her children. She shouldn’t gloss over it in a ‘that which makes us stronger’ manner.
Because sometimes it just doesn’t.
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