FAR be it for me to complain at the amount of mail I receive – the paper and envelope variety as opposed to the social media tsunami – as some lonely people never hear the letterbox open from one month to the next.

But Tuesday’s mini-mountain of 11 letters, a leisure holidays brochure and a pizza parlour circular was a disappointment, apart from a couple of thank-you notes from grandsons.

Two letters from different companies made no bones about reminding me I was getting older and suggested I paid for my funeral in advance; another, again emphasising human vulnerability, was an invitation to a cut-price yet still expensive health screening session; a fourth was from NHS England asking me to complete an eight-page GP patient survey, while the fifth offered nearly £2,000 off laser eye surgery I have no intention of enduring.

A sixth suggested I was being taken for a ride by my car insurance provider (how this was determined was not explained) while the seventh offered to clean or, if necessary, part re-glaze the conservatory I don’t have.

The eighth was a somewhat patronising cut-price subscription offer from an internationally respected magazine. At least this didn’t question my surviving the next few weeks.

But it was the last one that annoyed. Heaven knows I’m happy to support many charities and newcomers who seek a slice of my dwindling funds are rarely turned away. This was the situation six months ago when an animal charity persuaded me that a £10 per month gift would do a lot of good as well as ensure I wouldn’t get more begging notes from them in the future. Tuesday’s letter proved they had either forgotten or had chosen to forget.

Call it what you will, this is blatantly dishonest and does the charity’s reputation no good.

IF you happen to see a wider-than-usual smile across the happy face of city centre manager Laurie Taylor, don’t be too surprised. Only the unobservant will not have noticed that the place looks cleaner and tidier and is harbouring fewer beggars.

Her idea to employ a team known as the ambassadors to make people aware of what most of us expect in the middle of Oxford has certainly worked – at a price. She persuaded the city’s paymasters to invest in a trial period last year and this was extended. I reckon this was money well spent.

What next?

HEARD outside a packed Banbury barber’s shop on Monday, the day before the mass return to school.

Mother to scowling primary school-age son: “When Prince William lets baby George have a pigtail, you can have one. Now get inside!”