IT was the return to work this week and most of my emails were prefixed by Happy New Year greetings.

It got me thinking about whether the new year is a happy time?

After an excellent Christmas and two weeks off work, the return to normality and party season wrapping up leaves me feeling a bit vacant.

January is a funny time of year for me as it was precisely this time of year that I had my accident on holiday.

I think it’s also a funny time of year for a lot of people as Christmas and new year is all about family, friends. Throughout this time it is quite reflective.

In the run up to Christmas I get somewhat nervous about how January will pass by and I often don’t know how to ‘celebrate’ the anniversary of my accident or even whether to celebrate at all.

Even if I let it pass by like a normal day it is all pretend, as in my head I am thinking about the time in hospital, the anguish of relatives and friends, people that were in my life that no longer are and the like.

In past years I have gone on holiday, even written letters to my nurses, but that seems sort of weird now because as the memories of hospital fade I don’t want them to return.

I have also written letters to my ex who was with me on the day that I chose never to send nor read.

It has been six years and I’m still not sure what to do.

This year I had some friends take me out drinking, which actually worked out pretty well. I have taken today off to allow my hangover to fester and to be at home where everything is just so and comfortable. No reminders here, just home comforts.

I guess the essence of it all is to be balanced in my life view. It’s all too easy to dwell on what I have lost by losing my mobility and to ignore what I have gained.

There are many thoughts of what if? To be honest six years is a large part of my adult life and it would have been hard to predict what would have happened anyway given my somewhat chaotic life choices back then (and to this day).

I think about it as I sit here with a slightly fuzzy head.

I think it is down to me. I can allow myself to get sad about what happened or I can choose to reflect thoughtfully, but with balance to allow myself to carry on with the chaos and the fun and just accept that things happen to everyone and people move on and make new lives for themselves and those around them.

My new year’s resolution isn’t some faddy diet or unrealistic promise its quite simple: to just be happy with the status quo.

So I guess this year is a happy new year.

Now where did I put that Alka Seltzer?