There are not many days that go past when I don’t realise quite how lucky I am to have a job that I enjoy, and which fits around family life, a rare privilege for anyone, not just women.
It was one of the reasons I chose dentistry all those years ago. What good advice I was given.
At my stage in life, out the other side of the baby years, when sleepless nights seem like a thing of the past and my children are well established at school, many of my friends are looking around and realising they are no longer needed to be on call 24/7 and wondering what comes next.
Some are lucky and have been able to pick up careers almost where they left off, an extremely rare situation.
Others are lucky because they have no need or desire to return to the working world and some are taking the opportunity to try something completely new.
What seems abundantly clear is that it’s just not that easy for women to establish themselves in careers that fit around the school run and school holidays and, quite frankly, that’s not too surprising. The glass ceiling is still firmly in place for most women, it seems that it really isn’t possible to have it all.
Behind every successful person, there is an army of support: for working men, it’s usually a wife but when the wife works as well, the support can be a little thin on the ground and the roles become a little less clear-cut.
I have often said that in a family, only one person can have a career. The other person usually has to accept they have a job and take the secondary role when it comes to climbing the career ladder.
Someone has to be there when the kids are too ill to go to school, and take responsibility for being at home at the end of the day.
Someone also has to keep on top of running the house and getting everyone to the right place at the right time.
There is, of course, the option of nannies and housekeepers but costs aside, for me, I’ve always wanted to be there in the thick of the nitty-gritty of family life.
Admittedly without a nanny for five years during the super-hard years of babyhood, I would have struggled to keep all the balls in the air, but nothing is ever that straightforward and even this was not always easy to manage.
With almost every advantage, there is usually a compromise.
For me, it’s a perfect solution to work part-time; time doing a job I enjoy but also time to spend with the family.
I recognise that while it may be convenient for me, it’s not always that convenient for the people I treat... if only tooth problems just happened on the days I am at work. But life is not usually that simple.
Just recently I was with a friend who was bemoaning the fact that his physiotherapist was only in work three days a week and just how hugely inconvenient this was for him.
When people work full-time, I guess it’s not that unreasonable to expect everyone else to do the same.
Probably because I’m in the same situation, it doesn’t irk me that services I need are not always available on every day of the week if I want to see the same person; it just takes a little understanding.
Nine times out of 10, the fact I am not in the practice two days a week doesn’t seem to be an issue, but there have been more than a few occasions when I have sensed irritation, usually from high-flying businessmen who are used to scheduling appointments without compromise.
The majority of the people that I see are considerate, polite and are actually people I look forward to seeing, even if the feeling isn’t always mutual. The compromise is that I simply can’t be all things to all people and there are times when my working hours just don’t suit someone, for me this will be my glass ceiling. Dentists develop a pretty thick skin but it still smarts when someone changes dentist because I’m not there when they need me. I, like most people, want to do my best for everyone, but sometimes there’s a limit to just how thin it’s possible to spread myself.
Would I change it? No, I wouldn’t. It’s not possible to have it all and, as far as I can see, it never will be. But how fortunate we are to live in a society where we can give it a go. I’m not chained to the kitchen sink and I’ve got choices. What more can we realistically ask for?
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