After being caught by a make-up counter lady, Rebecca Moore finds she’s had enough of make-believe

I’m a fan of make-believe and I love a good dress-up.

In fact, I like pretending in all its various forms: I particularly enjoy pretending to be a stone lighter than I actually am and wearing slightly too tight clothing.

But there’s one form of make-believe that’s been going on for decades and it’s both my saviour and my curse.

I bet it’s yours, too. This make-believe is a simple thing – something so simple that most of us wield it every day without even thinking twice about it. But let’s just say it: make-up is a lie.

We all know it – we know this and we’re all OK with it.

And little white lies, which enhance a part there and smooth over a bit here, seem fine. Of course, they are fine. We’re not giving the world Ava Gardner when we’re actually Dame Edna Everage. These are just small tricks of the light.

But some of us take it to extremes. I was reminded of this fact when I popped into Boots last week to buy some moisturiser. Obviously, I spent a good 20 minutes deciding whether I wanted soft, supple skin, fabulously-conditioned skin, blemish-free skin (all of the above, obviously) and whether I wanted to pay £5 or £50 for the privilege of probably none of them. While there, I managed to fall prey to one of the counter ladies. You know the ones, who stand around seemingly innocent with a palette and brushes but who – given even a second’s hesitation – will have you in their revolving chair, looking like an extra from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

After telling you you’re amazing and looking fabulous they then make you feel like a daylight robber if you don’t buy at least £100 worth of lipsticks. While captured by this particular one the other day, I managed to get tricked onto a waiting list for a new product they’re receiving from the USA in a month or so. I’m apparently going to be one of the first people in this country to try it.

It’s only a certain type of contouring powder, but apparently it’s a big deal.

In case you’re unaware – and frankly, where have you been for the last year if you don’t know about contouring, daarhling (sensibly not watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians, presumably) – is where you highlight and contour your face so that it has shape. I know what you’re thinking: doesn’t my face already have shape?

Yes. It does. But it needs the correct shape, doesn’t it? Heaven forbid you don’t have the correct face shape.

It must have cheekbones that could cut glass, a slim, elegant nose and beautifully illuminated brows.

I’m all for looking good – and I put cold hard cash into this belief system the same as the rest of us – but we need to calm down on the contouring and make-believe.

I saw a girl yesterday whose eyebrows were nothing more than a black felt tip pen, forming perfect arches across her porcelain-powdered face.

It was terrifying.

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