Standing in Christ Church Cathedral the other day a visitor asked me a question. ‘Why is there so often a skull carved into the memorials of influential people? Why would they want a skull next to an attractive image of themselves?’ It was a good question to ask based on good observation. Skulls are found on burial monuments around the country from before and after the Reformation Before coming to Oxford, I was Vicar of Stratford-upon-Avon where we had Shakespeare’s Grave amongst many others in the church of Holy Trinity. On his famous memorial bust from 1623 sits not just the image of Shakespeare but a prominent skull.

The reason is simple. It was a reminder that however rich, or influential or famous we are in life, we will all die.

However unequal we are in life we are all equal in death. ‘Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return’ as the priest says on Ash Wednesday.

Being reminded of death seems a very morbid thing.

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But I like to think the intention is positive. To be conscious that we will not live forever, is important because it affects how we live.

If we remember that however lucky, healthy or fortunate we are, we will one day die, we are reminded to treat each day, even each moment, as precious.

People realise this when they are dying, or when they face the death of loved ones.

They often wish they’d made different use of the time that they’d had.

What are the most common regrets of the dying? I once came across this list compiled by a Palliative Nurse working amongst the dying: 1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Being reasonably healthy gives us more freedom than we realise, until we have lost it.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

The commonest feeling amongst men in particular, wishing they had paid more attention to their partner, or more time with their children. No one ever dies saying ‘I wish I’d spent more time in the office’ as my wife sometimes reminds me!

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Bottling up feelings to keep the peace can lead to a sense of unfulfilment and a shadow existence.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Pick up with old friends now, rather than regret it later.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

There’s an old Christian folk tale about someone dying and coming before the judgment seat of God. They were expecting harsh questions about all kind of things. But God just leaned forward with an expectant smile and said, ‘Have you enjoyed my creation?’ Well, have you?!

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