LEAVING aside hackneyed quips regarding the premature arrival of April Fool’s Day, I am seriously beginning to wonder whether “loo supremo” or “toilet tsar” John Tanner is paradoxically and pathetically attempting to extract the urine out of the rest of us.

Normal people prefer to avoid public toilets, but, if they are taken short, all they usually desire is a quick visit.

The proposed provision of paperback novels is hardly likely to foster hygiene nor a rapid turnover, and the suggested framed newspaper front pages would provide an excellent pretext for certain individuals to loiter with intent.

As for the flowers, the same point may well apply in some cases, but, apart from that, most would settle for good old-fashioned air fresheners, on several counts.

Finally, I am at least disappointed that your Jeremy ‘Man About Town’ Smith should have become involved in such an insane and cretinous project, having previously had, whether or not I always agree with his comments, a far higher opinion of him. Please excuse me while I pinch myself.

DAVID DIMENT, Riverside Court, Oxford