A DIAGNOSIS of dementia can have a devastating impact on a marriage.
Jean and Allan Plastow, from Stanford in the Vale, have been married for 62 years and have known each other since they were children.
The couple have decided to donate their brains for dementia research after Mr Plastow, 84, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s six years ago.
The Oxford graduate has held several powerful roles with the Government, a host of private businesses, including Asda, and also once worked for Prince Charles, where he helped launch the Business in the Community project.
He has also survived two bouts of cancer, and 12 years ago was given just six months to live.
It was Mrs Plastow, 83, who first noticed changes in her husband and persuaded him to visit the GP.
Mrs Plastow said: “Allan I have known each other since we were eight years old and we were friends until we reached 14.
“I remember we went to the cinema.
“Allan walked me home and when we got there he kissed me on the cheek. On the first date too – I was furious.
“We didn’t speak to each other for five years after that.
“Then one day I saw him at King’s Cross Station in his cadet soldier’s uniform. He would have been 16. Three years later we met up again in the August of 1950 and we married on Boxing Day.
“You could say I know him better than I know myself.
“I first noticed something wrong with Allan about six years ago when he started getting dressed wrong.
“He would put things on back to front, or inside out and wouldn’t notice.
“When he drove he also became very confused, he would turn right instead of left and vice versa.
“Then one day I saved us from a crash by grabbing the wheel. I could tell something wasn’t right.
“I went to the doctor’s for advice. We decided we would see if the exceptional intelligence in his brain would bring him through.
“Later, he came down to see me and stood before me in his dressing gown, and said ‘Jean, there’s something wrong with me’. I said to him ‘Yes there is. But we’re going to fight this all the way, just like the cancer’.
“I’d been looking forward to our retirement together so much.
“I’m now Allan’s carer. It’s not how we envisaged our retirement, but I don’t mind.
“We’re very lucky. We’re still the best of friends.
“We lead a very full life, and we keep active with lots of clubs and groups. If we don’t, Allan just falls asleep in the chair.
“We reckon we’ve got about six years left together.
“We don’t need our brains when we’re gone. They won’t find a cure by the time we die. But it’s a help to other people.”
Mr Plastow said: “I remember, with all 14 years of my courage, kissing Jean after the cinema.
“We’d been to watch We Dive at Dawn.
“It was a perfectly clear night and we were stood at the end of the street in the middle of a blackout under a bright moon, what used to be called a ‘bomber’s moon’.
“I was so shocked at what I’d done, I ran all the way home. Jean was furious. She didn’t speak to me for years. But she forgave me eventually.
“Being told I had Alzheimer’s, I was shocked.
“The doctor told me he had read my notes, and knew about my career and academic background, but he warned me ‘when it comes to Alzheimer’s, this can all mean nothing’.
“He told me about Iris Murdoch, who died within six months of diagnosis.
“It gets very frustrating, not being able to remember things, dressing wrong, sometimes leaving taps on.
“But Jean astounds me, the way she has handled everything.
“We decided to donate our brains because we want to help other people. Fingers crossed, we have got six years left together.
“The research won’t do us good in our life time.
“This is how we want to help others who are going through the same thing.”
l Since 2009, 288 Oxfordshire people have signed up to donate their brain.
Brains for Dementia Research needs people aged 70 or over with or without dementia to take part in assessments and to donate their brain to help defeat dementia. Contact the team on 01865 231556 or email BDR.Oxford@nhs.net
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