"Holmes, this is amazing,” I said, perusing an item that had arrived in the mail delivery. My companion stared out of the window.

“Why, Watson, that our brand continues to entertain and delight, especially in Banbury tomorrow evening? That a new entertainment has been written about us embarking upon a tour of this country prior to what the Cherwell Theatre Company disgracefully refers to as my ‘retirement’?”

“How on earth . . ?” I retorted. But Sherlock Holmes had not finished.

“Apparently I am being played by one James Snee and you by Liam Nooney and we are, in amusing fashion, to solve a case which you have improbably entitled The Prime Minister, the Floozie and the Lummock Rock lighthouse. Not only that, the audience at the premiere of this work is to be given full value, since at least three others of our famous Baker Street cast are involved: Inspector Lestrade, Mrs Hudson and — this comes as little surprise — the late, unlamented Moriarty.”

“Who has . . ?” I interjected.

“. . . directed this? Nasser Memarzia, artistic director of the CTC and an actor and dramatist in his own right. I suppose we should be honoured that a man who has worked with Danny Boyle, Ridley Scott and Steven Spielberg has been entrusted with bringing us to the stage at the Mill Arts Centre.”

“And of course . . .” I ventured.

“You’re right,” said he, “the pack you’re reading describes Holmes and Watson — The Farewell Tour as ‘hysterical, delightfully intricate and engaging’. Apparently we are targeting audiences who enjoy comedy and physical theatre. Not only that, the production starts touring in Oxfordshire and beyond after Christmas. We must away to Banbury now, to ensure good £10 seats for tomorrow night.”

“But . . .”

“Elementary: the words you’re reading are reflected in the silver teapot before you and thence back over your shoulder into the glass of this window.”

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