OK LADS, gather round. The bank is situated next door to the police station.

They won’t bother us, as cuts in their budgets have meant the station will be closed.

Blowing up the safe won’t be a problem. Again, cuts in budgets means Oxford City Council won’t be sending out officers to investigate any loud noises, like an explosion for instance.

My only concern lads is, will there be enough money in the bank’s safe to make the robbery worthwhile? Still, there is always that load of lead on their roof.

Oh, one more thing, if you do happen to get caught by the police, which I doubt, tell them you are bank robbers and not rioters.

You don’t want to spend more time in the nick than is necessary. Good luck!

CHRIS BOSWELL, Williamson Way, Rose Hill, Oxford