I’ve a confession to make; I like American Football. Die-hard fans of real football, the kind that’s played by Ronaldos and not Brads or Bucks, will be burning this article right now. And the rest of you will probably want me to start explaining myself at once.
I’ll try but I don’t know what to say. There’s no earthly reason I should like it. Play stops every time someone gets tackled, half the team is overweight and they all wear protective pads.
But there’s something special about it. I know it’s not really a sport, I know Ben Roethlisberger is not the best role model and I know that at the end of the day, even the ‘subs’ will go home to their multimillion dollar mansions and mistresses. But I don’t care.
The sport has something that forces you to forget its flaws and makes it entertaining in a way only Americans can.
It’s the same story with the 1964 Cadillac Deville from 48 hours, the 1982 film that launched Eddie Murphy’s cinematic career. If I showed a list of its stats to you, you’d all have the same reaction; you’d shrug. And on paper that’s exactly the right thing to do.
The engine will churn out 340hp, but it’s a luxury brand and so comes with four leather seats, a supersized grille and wheel arches the size of Everest. All of which leaves the car weighing 4,600lb. Meaning it does 0-60 in a grindingly slow 10 seconds and can only ever reach 115mph.
Care to guess what this undistinguished car costs? $4,500? $2,000? A halfpenny? No, it’ll cost you $10,000; more expensive than a brand new VW Polo in fact (I even found a cheaper 2006 Land Rover Freelander online).
So why buy this car then? Well, to answer that question you only need to see tough cop Jack Cates as (played by Nick Nolte in the film) driving it. This car may be an ugly, lumbering waste of fuel but it’s soooo cool.
Now Italian cars are cool because they look pretty and go fast. British cars are cool because of refined good looks and sleek handling. And American cars are cool because... um, err; they are.
You’re all probably a bit confused. After all, last week I told you there was nothing good about the cheaper, faster and more efficient Ford Anglia (from the Harry Potter film series) and here I am praising this Caddie to the skies. Let me explain.
Look at the picture of the Deville in this column. Now look at your car. Unless you drive a Veyron or an Enzo the picture is cooler. It looks like it could be hit with a missile and keep going. And that’s cool.
In many ways this car is just like American Football. It makes no sense, it’s rough, it breaks down every few seconds but it’s very entertaining. And I love it.
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