A DATING service for people with learning disabilities which has introduced 15 couples and arranged more than 100 dates, is looking for funding to continue.
Mates ’n Dates was launched in October 2007, and now has almost 250 members across Oxfordshire.
Guideposts Trust, based in Witney, co-ordinates the service on behalf of Oxford Learning DisabilityPartnership Board, the Ridgeway Partnership and the charities Kingwood and Style Acre.
Mates ’n’ Dates co-ordinator Hannah Wolstenholme, 30, said: “We have chaperoned 68 dates so far this year, and many have led to further dates and even relationships. There are 15 couples we know of who have found love and many more who have made great friends, and that’s what it is all about.”
Mates ’n’ Dates recruits members, aged 18-80 through day centres, charities and word of mouth, and organises social events like barn dances, bi-monthly speed-dating and a ball. Nearly 80 people attended the last speed-dating event.
Couples who want to meet independently initially use one of the charity’s 16 volunteer ‘chaperones’.
Ms Wolstenholme explained: “Our chaperones make sure the meeting is safe, supported and hopefully easier for the couple.
“Chaperones can drive couples to places – most of our members can’t drive – they can help with reading menus, or ordering and buying drinks, and the rest of the time they just sit close-by and let the date progress normally.”
She added: “The difficulties in dating faced by people with learning disabilities would not occur to most of us; just getting to someone on the other side of Oxford can be a challenge to them. Plus, they might be shy, or even have communication problems they might need help with.
“People with learning disabilities are surrounded by images of people meeting, falling and in love and having sexual relationships, but although they want this too, achieving this can be very difficult.
“Young men in particular can be vulnerable and can get themselves in trouble approaching women who don’t want to be approached.”
James Wise, 36, from Banbury, works for Morrisons supermarket in the town. He has been on several dates through Mates ’n’ Dates with Kira Beaver, 25, from Wantage.
He said: “Mates ’n’ Dates is great, it really helps you meet people. Sometimes you go out and just stay friends and sometimes you might get on and become boyfriend and girlfriend. Me and Kira have been out a few times so far, mostly to Oxford. We have a drink or something to eat and I hope she will be my girlfriend. We will have to see.”
Miss Beaver said: “I’ve been on dates with a few people but me and James have lots of giggles. We love wandering around the Oxford shops and will be going out again soon.”
The service also runs a group called Mingles, for gay, bisexual and transgender people, which meets in Banbury and Oxford.
Mrs Wolstenholme added: “Mates ’n’ Dates isn’t expensive to run, but the results are fantastic. But while we currently have funding from the Learning Disability Partnership Board until March, the Government spending cuts mean they are not sure whether they can fund us in the future, and it is pretty worrying.
“Any help with fundraising and volunteers we can get would help us and our members enormously. The work is very rewarding. Just seeing a couple hit it off, who you’ve thought might get on, is absolutely wonderful.”
news@oxfordmail.co.uk For more information contact Hannah Wolstenholme on 01993 899980.
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