PIRANHA 3D (18).
Horror/thriller. Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Jerry O'Connell, Kelly Brook, Eli Roth, Jessica Szhor, Richard Dreyfuss. Director: Alexandre Aja.
You already know what to expect from Piranha 3D before you even buy your popcorn.
Kelly Brook, who plays glamour model Danni, has described the 3D remake of the 1978 horror as “a big, fun B-movie with lots of boobs, blood, gore and drama”, and there are plenty of these in this cheesy romp to keep horror fans satisfied.
French filmmaker Alexandre Aja – of The Hills Have Eyes fame – has turned his hand from mutants to the flesh-eating piranhas, which unsurprisingly show little mercy as they chomp and chew their way through fun-seekers celebrating spring break.
Sheriff Julie Forester (Shue) is a working mum who has to leave her teenage son Jake (Steven McQueen) to babysit her younger children as she heads off to patrol the spring break parties at Lake Victoria – but Jake would rather spend time with porn king Derrick (O’Connell) and his two glamorous busty sidekicks Danni (Brook) and Crystal (real-life erotic actress Riley Steele).
Jake helps his new friend find a quiet spot at the lake to shoot scenes for his new film, but the tranquil location just so happens to be where a recent underwater tremor opened a deep chasm, unleashing swarms of prehistoric razor-toothed fish that had been dormant for thousands of years.
The killer fish predictably make up for lost time as they terrorise the former beauty spot and the body count racks up in inventive and oddly amusing ways.
One bikini-clad girl gets a nip on her backside as she wallows on a rubber tube, while another meets her nasty end as she tries to fight them off with a frying pan.
Forester and a small team of survivors try to outwit the predators, and attempts to make the lake off-limits to the tourists.
Her colleague Deputy Fallon (Rhames) helpfully said: “It's us and 20,000 kids. You do the maths.”
The 3D adds a touch of fun to the horror – with fish and ample chests popping out – and although the effects look fake at times, guys will surely appreciate the amount of bouncy assets and bikini-clad women around.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article