There were blank faces when Jane Elliott recently approached a group of people to talk about SeeSaw. Given that the charity has been going for a decade and is in the middle of its tenth birthday celebrations, you might have imagined that the woman behind its fundraising plans would have been mildly put out that none of them had even heard of it.

The opposite was true. “I told them I was glad. I was glad because it meant that they had not needed us,” said Ms Elliott.

When you realise that SeeSaw is an organisation that was created in 2000 to support bereaved children in Oxfordshire, her response becomes altogether more understandable. For, in most cases, it is the death or imminent death of a parent or sibling that leads people to find SeeSaw.

Not all people, of course.

Raymond Blanc’s interest in SeeSaw’s work grew directly from his experience as a trainee nurse in France, before he headed to Oxfordshire to establish himself as one of the world’s greatest chefs.

The experience of working at a hospital in Besançon in a department that treated young sufferers of leukaemia left a lasting impression on him and he readily recalls forming friendships with some of the children in his care. M Blanc, pictured, is now a patron of SeeSaw, a charity created to help children in their hours of greatest need.

SeeSaw was first set up after the need to support bereaved children in Oxfordshire was first identified. Former Macmillan nurse Ann Couldrick, who went on to become a senior nurse at Sir Michael Sobell House Hospice, where she helped establish the Sobell House Bereavement Service, was a leading figure behind its creation.

She now recalls: “Fourteen years ago SeeSaw was a dream, a dream shared by a group of people who worked with children. All knew that the support available to children in Oxfordshire whose parent or sibling had died was patchy at best and often non-existent.

“It took four years of thinking and planning just to get started. However, because of the determination of that group, reinforced by a team of skilled business people who joined us, the dream has been realised. SeeSaw is now a highly valued service, helping bereaved children face the future with hope.”

And there have been many children to help down the years. A few days ago, in its anniversary year, SeeSaw reached the milestone of having given support to 2,000 children.

One fact SeeSaw uses that often stops people in their tracks is that by the age of 16, one in every 29 children will have experienced the death of a parent.

The numbers of children helped by the charity has gone on increasing each year as word about its work has spread, not least to schools.

The charity prides itself on responding swiftly to requests for help, usually within 24 hours. Most often it takes the form of one-to-one support provided in the child’s home, and in recognition of the fact every person’s experience of bereavement is different, it is tailor-made for each individual child.

Sadly, SeeSaw increasingly receives requests to go into schools and now employs a specialist schools and families support worker, Chris Druce.

Ms Druce, a qualified social worker, said: “I can’t count the times I have heard teachers say, ‘I can cope with most situations in school, but the thought of facing a child who is devastated by the loss of someone they love fills me with huge anxiety. I am worried about saying the wrong thing and making the situation worse. I need to know what to say and do what would help them’.”

“So, my job is to provide the information, advice, training and support that school staff need to enable them to feel confident in their ability to understand and share a child’s bereavement journey.”

It also means going into schools that have been overwhelmed by tragedy, such as Larkmead School, in Abingdon, which has had to come to terms with the sudden deaths of two pupils in road accidents. The death of 11-year-old Ty-Ree Partridge, who was killed in an accident on her way home from school in July, came only nine months after another pupil at the school, Sarah Waterhouse, had died in a cycling accident. The school’s headteacher, Chris Harris, said: “It was a traumatic experience for our school.

“We were in contact with SeeSaw right from the start and they came to provide advice and opportunities for counselling for student who had been affected by the deaths. For many of the young people here it was the first time they had ever had to deal with a death.

“There were also follow-up visits. They came as often as we asked them to. We were able to build a procedure around their advice.

“You can forget things, if you do not have a process in place. The important message is that you need to provide a mechanism and opportunity for students to communicate how they feel.”

The current director of SeeSaw, Rosie Nicol-Harper, says that sometimes it is a question of SeeSaw workers offering schools reassurance that they are approaching bereavement in the right way.

For her, the key is recognising that while every child grieves differently, children do tend to grieve differently from adults.

“With adults, preoccupation with grief tend to be all-encompassing. Younger children tend to be able to jump in and out of grief. The feelings of grief come in waves.”

In the past this may have brought about what now seems a heartless approach.

“Not very long ago there was a general belief that children had short memories and that if you did not bring up the subject of a parent’s death, they would forget and be able to get on with their lives. Not allowing them to talk about it, pretending that it did not happen, was thought to be kinder.”

Ms Nichol-Harper was one of SeeSaw’s original volunteer support workers, having worked as a social worker in various teams such as child protection, fostering and adoption. But she argues her best teachers have been the families themselves.

“I am always amazed how well families deal with crisis. When I go to visit families, it is often a case of sharing what we’ve learned from families in similar situations down the years. This is not about therapy. It is about providing a listening ear.”

Last year, SeeSaw supported 451 children. But the team Ms Nichol-Harper leads from SeeSaw’s headquarters in Bush House, across the road from the Thornhill park-and-ride, is comparatively small. There are six full-time members of staff, including a pre-bereavment worker, who will visit families when it is known that a parent is dying, and usually 12 volunteer support workers, who will undergo a three-month training course, before going on to visit children in their homes.

Some of them have personal experience of coping with a child’s death.

But anyone who saw the packed Divinity School at the Bodleian Library a few weeks ago, where SeeSaw celebrated its tenth birthday, will recognise that the organisation’s friends can be counted in their hundreds.

Guests included Inspector Morse author Colin Dexter, the Lord Lieutenant of Oxfordshire, Tim Stevenson, and BBC Oxford television newsreader Geraldine Peers, who has become SeeSaw’s fourth patron.

Her appointment was a poignant personal moment, she told guests.

“I’m so pleased to be involved with SeeSaw. My mum died while I was still at school.

“I know the support SeeSaw offers makes a difference to a lot of children and families.”

Trustees attending included Jacqueline Worswick, who with her husband Richard helped set up Helen House, the Oxford hospice that was named in honour of their daughter.

Then there were the people SeeSaw has helped, like Bob Tivey, who contacted SeeSaw nine months after the death of his wife, Jacqui, in 2007. His daughter, Ann, was then 14 and his son, Andrew, nine.

“I decided that it would be helpful if they received some extra support. It is not easy at the age. One of the last things you want is to feel different, but inevitably you do.

“So, I took soundings from my doctor and others and did some research. I had not heard of them before my wife died.

“What I liked was their flexible and undogmatic approach. I am relatively unshakable but there was a time when my son did find it painful to talk,” said Mr Tivey, a consultant in the energy industry.

When the director finally rose to speak in the Divinity School, holding back the tears, she admitted it was a strange kind of party.

“It’s a celebration of what has been achieved. But it has to be tinged with the deep sadness of knowing that each and every one of the children supported has had to find a way of managing without someone they love.”

But even for those who have come to know SeeSaw through death, it was a night to smile and enjoy the champagne provided by sponsors. For few were the guests that night who did not know too well how fleeting times of happiness can be.