TOBI Mills knows she is dying but she is fighting her cancer with all the spirit she can muster.

"Some days are better than others. I'm very open about it with the children but there are moments when I'm terrified about it," she said.

Her primary concern at the moment, though, is not for herself but for her children.

"They're good kids and I want to find the right person or couple to take them on. I don't want the puppy syndrome, where someone feels sorry for them and takes them on without thinking it through.

"I want people who are well-educated because the children are very bright. Ashton is good at maths and Lauren is good at English.

"The ideal would be to find someone willing to take them on an open adoption, so they keep their name and the adoptive parent or parents respect where they come from," said Tobi.

Tobi has no family who can take the children on. Her mother committed suicide when she was young and her brother lives abroad.

It's an additional worry as she continues her own battle for survival.

Tobi's fight against the disease started with breast cancer about three years ago. She thought she had beaten it but then she heard the devastating news that secondary tumours had been found in her liver.

"I had the chemotherapy to buy me more time but it didn't work. This latest course of treatment is a last resort," she said.

Although she is seriously ill, Tobi still retains a sense of humour and an unstinting ability to think of others ahead of herself.

Just before Christmas, she handed over a cheque for almost £2,000 to the Imperial Cancer Research Fund as part of the Oxford Mail's Think Pink appeal. Tobi raised the money with special events in and around her community, including a sponsored headshave that she and her son Ashton did together.

"My hair was going to fall out with the chemotherapy anyway but Ashton decided to join in. His has grown back now - which is just as well because it was a bit chilly!"

Another of her concerns is for young carers. Tobi knows a lot about it, having practically raised her brother herself after her mother's death, and also through her own children's involvement with her illness.

For more than a year, Tobi has been working on a project to help young carers in the Oxford area and to help people develop parenting skills so they know how to care for their children properly.

"If I had a legacy, I would like it to be that my death brought the community closer together.

"Through my name and my memory, I want help for young carers. Not enough is done for youngsters aged between eight and 18 who care for other children or for parents.

"I would like to think there was a support network for them," she added.

And Tobi believes she will know if her wishes are carried out.

"I'm aware of my own mortality but I do believe in spirituality and that the body dies but the spirit doesn't," she added.

Finding a new family for Ashton and Lauren isn't the sort of case Oxfordshire Social Services gets involved with often.

Family placement officer Gill Evans said: "Luckily it's a rare scenario but in this case there is no immediate family to offer support, so we will have to find a new home for the twins."

The case is equally rare because the children have written their own advert. It reads: Kids and dog for hire. Life term contract. Sad gits need not apply. Ring 01865 815347.

"Normally, we would place an advertisement in a newspaper asking for couples to come forward, but this way people get a sense of them as a family. The wording is how the children wanted it, so we're happy with that," she said. "In normal circumstances, we would probably be placing children with a history of problems. This isn't the case here. The twins are lovely children who need a loving home.

"Tobi herself is adamant that we don't exclude single parents - after all she's a single parent herself - but the inportant thing is to find a long-term, permanent home for the twins," said Gill.

But she added that potential parents should think carefully before picking up the phone.

"We do need responsible people who know what the implications are of taking on children. Some may ring with ill-thought-out but well-meaning intentions without realising what they'd be taking on," she said.

If you are seriously interested in offering a home to Lauren and Ashton, or other children in social services care, ring 01865 815347.

If every Oxford Mail reader were to give just £1, the appeal target would be met within days.

Making a donation to The Tobi Mills 10,000 Appeal is simple - but don't forget, time is of the essence.

You can pledge your money by telephoning 01865 205192 or you can fax your pledge on 01865 242569.

Cheques should be made payable to The Tobi Mills 10,000 Appeal, or you can give cash.

Cheques can be paid in direct to the account at Lloyds Bank Cowley Branch, Pound Way, Cowley. The sort code is 30-12-51 and the account number 0088442.

Or you can send cheques, made out to the appeal, to The Editor, Oxford Mail, Osney Mead, Oxford OX2 0EJ. Please DO NOT send cash to the Oxford Mail.

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