Pup-pup-pup PARR-pa-rup-pup pup-pup... When Match of the Day's theme tune starts, it's Theresa Clark's signal to head for the door and out into her garden, away from the sound or sight of anything to do with football, writes FIONA TARRANT.

But now Theresa, 52, of Town Farm Cottage, Kingston Blount, has a more difficult task because there's more than one theme tune associated with the World Cup and she's had to learn to recognise them all.

"I'm out of the door as soon as they come on," she said.

"The World Cup means nothing to me, other than the chance to have a good night out with friends or a day out shopping with fewer people in the queues. Most importantly though, it's a chance to get my garden into shape."

Theresa's one-and-a-half acre garden is her passion and she's hoping she can inspire other women - and men - who are bored with the World Cup.

"I can't stand football. I even listen to a peaceful tape in my car, which is a recording of birds singing. It means I don't listen to the radio, so I don't have to hear all the World Cup reports. I'd far rather be in my garden anyway."

Theresa has built her pride and joy up from nothing. Ten years ago it was just a field. "Now it's got a quarter of an acre lake, ornamental grasses and a wild flower area.

"It's ironic because my garden's among those open under the National Garden Scheme to go on show to the public. I will be opening it up to the public on July 12 - World Cup final day. It's open from 2-6pm and we'll be doing cream teas and a stall selling choice and unusual plants.

"I'm hoping all those World Cup widows will come along to miss the goals and view the bulbs instead!" How to survive Families, Football and France 98, written by the Institute of Family Therapy, offers a series of tips for avoiding domestic turmoil during the World Cup.

These include:

Don't assume everyone is interested. Despite the growing popularity of football among women, research accompanying the booklet suggests many women are dreading the next few weeks.

Suggest to football-mad partners that they get rid of pressing domestic chores, such as painting and wallpapering, before the tournament gets too engrossing. Tell them that "credit in the bank" could give them a nagging-free tournament.

If you don't know your Shearers from your Sheringhams, take an interest - fans in the family will usually be happy to teach you what they can.

Be aware that children might take defeats by their team badly. Talk things through with them if they seem upset.

Plan ahead - for example, buy extra videos to placate relatives who don't want to watch wall-to-wall football.

Help children learn from their obsession by showing them competing countries in an atlas. Discuss how the behaviour of sportsmen can have lessons for them.

Be aware that while teenagers might have important exams ahead, they can still watch some games. Help them plan out a revision timetable.

Make games into events - have a barbecue or a party. The World Cup doesn't have to be watched in complete silence around the television. What women say... IT is a total non-event for me. It just passes me by, because I have much better things to do with my time. I haven't even thought about what I will be doing when it's on.

Barabara Mackay, 60,

Headington

I FIND the whole thing extremely boring. Every TV channel is dedicated to it. It will be a good time to go shopping without men about.

Jane Smiley, 44,

Summertown

I AM annoyed by the hype surrounding the tournament. The promoters have gone completely overboard and now the kids want everything with a World Cup logo on it.

Buddy Buruku, 18,

Cowley

I'LL be making no effort to watch the games. I would rather play it than watch it but I don't support a team and I don't have a favourite footballer. Rachel Crosby, 22,

Oxford

IT is an extremely boring sport, which I don't have a great deal of interest in, so the whole thing just washes over me. While it is on I will go somewhere else with like-minded-people - such as the cinema or to a restaurant.

Jackie Creed, 44,

Sunnymede

I NEVER watch football and won't be watching the World Cup, but I am very aware of people wasting time chattering on about it. Women shouldn't have anything to do with it. Football needs to stay in its place. It has taken the place of the church for most of the nation.

Coral Reavley, 53,

Summertown

I WON'T be watching it. If it is on I will walk out of the room because I am fed up and very bored about the whole thing.

Emma Nicol, 19,

Headington

THE World Cup gets on my nerves. The pubs are always full of people shouting and it ruins a night out. I hate it.

Betty Hollins, 81,

Headington

THE frenzy which surrounds the games can be dangerous if men get too caught up in it - there are stories of violence and wife-battering which were provoked by football.

Claire Joy, 28,

Summertown Women who should hate the world cup... SHERYL GASCOIGNE - she's got estranged hubby Gazza around moaning that he's not in it

LILY SAVAGE - too much like hard work and you could break a nail

ANTHEA TURNER - look at all the trouble she got into doing a football club video for Grant Bovey

GERI HALLIWELL - an away player. The home team is Posh, Scary, Baby and Sporty

DOROTHY and DEBS - the ultimate football widows who have to put up with Men Behaving Badly

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.