Farewell to Tobi

Tobi Mills's story touched the world when her twins Lauren and Ashton wrote the saddest note of their lives - an advert for parents to replace their dying mum.

The ten-year-olds' plea in the Oxford Mail on February 11 read: "Kids and dog for hire. Life term contract. Sad gits need not apply."

Single mum Tobi, 43, of Haldane Road, Blackbird Leys, had been given just weeks to live by doctors after chemotherapy failed to halt the spread of secondary cancer to her liver.

Her battle against the disease started with breast cancer about three years ago but, although seriously ill, she still retained a sense of humour and an unstinting ability to think of others ahead of herself.

Just before Christmas, she handed over a cheque for almost £2,000 to the Imperial Cancer Research Fund (ICRF) as part of the Oxford Mail's Think Pink appeal.

She raised the money with special events in and around her community, including a sponsored head-shave that she and her son Ashton did together just before she went into hospital for chemotherapy. Her friends and supporters then rallied round to set up The Tobi Mills £10,000 Appeal which was launched the same week that the twins' advert appeared in the Oxford Mail and we asked every reader to pledge just £1 to help send Tobi and her kids on a last holiday together.

Just 24 hours later, the dying mum and her twins were preparing to go on the trip of a lifetime with two carers to DisneyWorld in Florida where they could fulfil their dream of swimming with dolphins after The Sun heard about our appeal.

The national newspaper's donation meant every penny donated by our readers could be put into a trust fund to help provide a secure future for Ashton and Lauren, pupils at Lawn Upton School in Littlemore.

Fundraising for the appeal was snowballing with offers of money and events already pouring in.

Family friend John Penman organised a series of darts matches and Tobi's friend Phil Nelson planned a children's disco in Blackbird Leys.

Two days after the story broke, more than 20 families had offered to foster the youngsters and their Spaniel Lacey. The next day the number was up to 120 with dozens worldwide calling social services offering their best wishes or promising to pay for holidays.

Media all over the world were also contacting the family and they had calls from as far away as Germany, Brazil, Canada and America. US talk show host Oprah Winfrey sent Tobi a bouquet of flowers while some people wrote to her via the Oxford Mail and others simply addressed their messages to Tobi Mills, Blackbird Leys - and the letters got through.

The fund reached the halfway stage on February 20 after an anonymous donation of £1,000 and daily donations or sales of ribbons or stickers in orange and purple - Tobi's choice of colours.

Another celebrity was touched by Tobi's plight when, in March, psychic Uri Geller met her in an attempt to cure her of cancer.

The world-famous spoon-bender read about Tobi and invited her and her twins to his luxury mansion in Sonning-on-Thames, near Henley.

He spent 15 minutes working on Tobi's illness during which he placed a hand on her liver.

The Sun's generosity was echoed by Richard Branson who flew the family to Florida through Virgin Atlantic and Virgin Holiday later in the month.

Pictures from Florida showed Tobi and her twins with big smiles on their faces as they swam with dolphins in Key Largo and splashed around in the sea.

Tobi, who at the time was given two months to live, gave up chemotherapy treatment for their holiday of a lifetime which included appearing on the Oprah Winfrey Show in Chicago.

Her appeal fund, which is to be divided between the twins and community projects in Blackbird Leys, broke the £10,000 target soon after they came back from holiday in April.

FRIENDS' TRIBUTE TO 'MOTHER COURAGE'

Friends and colleagues of Tobi's offered a host of touching tributes to the courageous mum today.

Among them were:

PHIL NELSON, a family friend and co-trustee of the appeal fund, who said: "I had left Tobi's home an hour before she died and I feel stunned.

"I cried when I said goodbye to her because she had fought so hard. She was a great woman and the children seem to be coping very well.

"It was a great honour to have known Tobi. I knew her for four years. We grew closer when she became ill. It really is an honour to have known a brilliant woman."

GILL WARLAND, of Blackbird Leys Community Development Initiative, and friend of Tobi, who said: "I would like to say that Tobi was a very active member of the Blackbird Leys community, particularly involved with parenting.

"She contributed at Windale School in Blackbird Leys where she was a governor and Blackbird Leys will be a poor place without her.

"I knew when I said goodbye to her last night that it would be the last time I saw her and it was difficult. I've lost a good friend." KATE HART, service manager for the family placement service, who said: "On behalf of the Social Services department and the people here who met and worked with Tobi, we are very sorry that she has died.

"We offer our condolences to the family and extend our sympathy to Lauren and Ashton and we are sure that this will be a difficult time for them."

PAT SOUTHCOTT, Carers Centre, Oxford, who said: "Tobi, Lauren and Ashton were so involved with setting up the Young Carer's project in Oxford city.

"Her courage and enthusiasm for life is her legacy and inspiration to us all. She will be missed by all who knew her."

JESS HIGGINBOTTOM, area appeals executive for the Imperial Cancer Research Fund, who said: "On behalf of the Imperial Cancer Research Fund's fundraising team in Oxford, we would like to express our deep sympathy to Tobi's family.

"Tobi was completely positive and has in the past done some fantastic fundraising for us despite battling herself against cancer.

"On a personal note, I came to know Tobi over the last year and had tremendous respect for her, her strength and her positivity."

TOMORROW: TOWER OF STRENGTH FOR HER FAMILY

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.