Eh-up, Gromit. Fancy helping a few of them foreign types to talk proper English? Well then old lad. It's no use prevaricating about the bush. Wolf down that Wensleydale and let's get over to the Oxford University Press, sharpish.
Even in the crazy clay world of Wallace and Gromit, this is one scene that sounds just a little too incredible. But we can reveal that the Oscar-winning duo have indeed been signed up by OUP to help teach overseas students to speak English.
He may have built a rocket to reach the Moon, saved the world from a purloining penguin, while producing the most cracking toast this side of Preston, but by gum, who could have guessed that Wallace possessed such linguistic skills under that soft northern front.
The OUP, one of the world's leading publishers of educational books, has no doubts about the wisdom of using Wallace and Gromit on its latest video for students learning English.
Specially adapted videos of Nick Park's Wallace and Gromit classic The Wrong Trousers are now going on sale in 80 different countries, along with an accompanying book.
Robert Maidment, the Oxford English Video Publishing manager, said: "The Wrong Trousers is a unique film which we believe is ideal for adapting to language teaching because of its gripping storyline, vivid characters and technical brilliance." But aren't some of Wallace's finest sayings, just a touch too colloquial, eh chuck?
Well, Mr Maidment admits that some lines have had to be changed with actor Peter Sallis, the man behind Wallace's voice, brought in to re-record a few sentences.
Mr Maidment said: "Instead of saying 'It's the wrong trousers', Wallace now says 'They're the wrong trousers'. And 'a touch painful on re-entry' is simplified to 'I've got a pain in my back.' "
Nor does the clay one's most famous observation - 'It's no use prevaricating about the bush' make the new director's foreign cut. But 'cracking toast' survives all right.
As millions of devotees know, The Wrong Trousers is a fiendishly complex story about betrayal and revenge, which sees a bank-robbing penguin usurping Gromit in Wallace's affections. So the Oxford editors wisely brought in Ballykissangel star Stephen Tompkinson to give a voice-over narration.
Mr Maidment said: "This has allowed us to add a few extra elements to make it more of a language teaching aid. We are certainly hopeful of seeing many thousands of copies from Thailand to Brazil."
OUP even took the precaution of showing a copy of Nick Park's Oscar winning film to 300 English teachers in Rome before going into production.
Their verdict? "It's grand as owt (anything)", apparently.
Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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