Single dad Andrew Gardiner has a mission in life. "If I can save one person from the emptiness and feelings of desperation that I experienced it will be worth it," he says.

The 21-year-old, from Iffley Road, Oxford, won custody of his 19-month-old son Joshua, and now he wants to set up a fathers' group to help others in his situation.

"There is nothing for men in Oxford, but I know there are others out there like me who want help, advice and companionship."

Andrew wants to change the prejudice against single dads and househusbands and give them an outlet where they can share experiences and gain strength from each other.

Andrew said: "You hear the word 'baby' and you immediately think of a mother. Women assume that because they carried the baby they will get custody, but it's not like that. "The best carer for a child is one that will nurture and bring it up best, male or female.

"Lots of men are too scared to go for custody because they assume they will lose. So there are lots of brilliant dads out there who are missing out."

Last year Andrew split from his wife, Joshua's mum, and immediately knew he wanted to look after his son full-time.

"I could not imagine life without him," he says now. Andrew was delighted when he was awarded custody of his son. "If people are fighting a custody battle to get back at each other they do not deserve to be parents. " But it wasn't like that for me. I just wanted to be the one to bring him up. I felt I could give him everything he needs and bring him up to b a well-mannered, happy and respectable person. It would have killed me if I had not won." It took the courts five months to decide his fate, which he said he would not wish on anyone. "It's heart-wrenching knowing that the life of your child and everything that you live for is in the hands of one person - the judge, but there are some occasions when you have to get a third party in to sort it out," he sighed. "I would not change it for the world. I am not jealous of other men who go to work. I never get bored. How can you? Children do different things every day. Joshua and I have such fun - he really makes me laugh."

Andrew gets support from his family, and his ex-wife sees Josh every Tuesday and alternate weekends.

As to the future, Andrew will go back to work when Joshua goes to school. In the meantime, he wants to get the fathers' group off the ground.

"There is nothing wrong with being a single dad and we should not be discriminated against. Even if men lose custody they will still get to see their children.

"I think there should be someone there to give them legal advice and go to court with them. Maybe I can be that person."

Any interested dads should write to Andrew c/o Katherine MacAlister, Oxford Mail, Osney Mead, OX2 OEJ. So how can we help? Dads in Berinsfield can take part in a pilot scheme at the Community Education Centre and Youth Centre aimed at finding out what single dads need.

On Mondays from 9.30am-11.30am and Thursdays from 10am-noon a youth and social worker will be listening to dads with queries on employment, child-minding, training or legal advice.

Organiser Julien Boucher said: "We want to provide for them, but do not know how we can help yet. So any local dads can come along and we can follow up their requests and set up some workshops."

Pool, snooker, table tennis, darts, tea, coffee and a crche have all been organised. Julien added: "If there is a big demand, perhaps it will trigger other areas to do the same." For further information, call Julien on 01865 341301.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.