Parents are the most important educators in any person's life, yet they get most of the blame when things go wrong and little support or training to ensure their children get the best possible start in life. FIONA TARRANT reports... Pat Moss is a mum and a grandmother. She has as much experience as anyone else as a parent and she knows it isn't always easy.

That's why the former teacher was perfect to help set up an organisation to aid parents across the county.

Apart from ante-natal classes, most parents have no training in how to cope or bring up their children.

That's why it was felt an umbrella organisation was needed to bring together details of all types of courses and training parents may benefit from.

Pat is secretary of the Oxfordshire Parenting Forum. The aim of this organisation is not to interfere but to offer help to parents whenever they want it.

She said: "It's not about telling people what to do and it's not aimed at people who are living in deprived circumstances.

"Wherever you live, or however many children you have, all parents have had times when they haven't felt they've coped," explained Pat.

"The Oxfordshire Parenting Forum is about raising parents' confidence and their self-esteem and enabling them to ask the right questions to get the answers they want.

"We live in a culture where everyone pretends they are coping. We see images of glamourous women coping with babies, but real life isn't like that."

And Pat stressed you don't have to be desperate to ask for help. It could be something as simple as finding a childminder or an after-school playscheme during the summer months. Or it could be serious, like information about teenagers and solvent abuse. The forum is an ideal opportunity for parents to meet others, pick up the skills they need and share good practice. The forum also has the support of the Oxfordshire Children's Information Service, which has a database for just about everything to do with children in the county.

So, if a parent wants to go on a particular course but needs to know about holiday playschemes in their area, then the two things can be dealt with in one phone call.

Or it might be that parents are having problems with their children over drugs and want to know how they can get through a difficult time.

Alternatively, a parent might want to better their own skills so they can help their kids, say, with maths homework or reading.

There are courses for fathers, too. One, called Dads and Lads - What are Fathers For? is about parenting the fathers of tomorrow and looking at relationships between fathers and sons.

As Parent Education Development Officer for Oxfordshire County Council, it is Pat's role to co-ordinate all the training courses and support schools and organisations who want to help parents.

So next time you are tearing your hair out when the kids are at home, fear not, help is at hand. USEFUL NUMBERS Oxfordshire Parenting Forum: 01865 716913.

Children's Information Service: (for everything from after-school care to returning to work after having a baby and special needs provision in the county) 01865 882288

Parentline: (ring in confidence) on 01865 726600

WEA: Runs courses such as

Who Said Kids Were Easy and Living and Working with the Under-Eights. Contact Annie Winner on

01865 361841

FLAME: (Family Life and Marriage Education) offers parenting courses to church groups and other community groups. Contact Jo Saunders on 01865 208213

Family Nurturing Network works with groups of parents and groups of children. Contact Kathy Peto on 01865 722442.

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