SPECIAL REPORT by (right-handed) GEORGE FREW Buck-fisted, corrie-pawed, spuddy-handed - just three of the less than flattering descriptions often applied to people who are left-handed. Down the centuries, left-handers have had a pretty hard time of it.
In religion, folklore, language and politics, right-handed people have always had the better image.
The devil is always portrayed as left-handed and we speak of Christ sitting at God's right hand.
We throw salt over our left shoulders to ward off evil spirits and even the word "sinister" is Latin for "left".
We are left in the lurch, asked to eat leftovers, given left-handed compliments. We say that we are waiting for Mr Right, hope that our hearts are in the right place and pray that it will all come right in the end. Something can be said to be right on, while someone is left out.
In Islam, the left hand and everything associated with it is seen as unclean - scarcely surprising, given the Middle Eastern custom of using the left hand and water to clean up, instead of a few sheets of the product popularised by a cuddly puppy.
As if all this wasn't enough to be going on with, left-handed folk also have to endure daily hassles with items designed for right-handers: trousers with one back pocket, zips, telephone boxes, chequebook stubs, scissors, ticket barriers on the Tube, typing, ties and shoe-laces, dining in restaurants (they bump elbows with the other sort), pens on chains in banks. Student Louisa Jenkins said she's learned to live with being left-handed.
The 18-year-old from Bicester said: "When I was little, I had to learn to do a lot of things with my right hand. Tin-openers are a nightmare. I find it easier to do up the buttons of a man's shirt, funnily enough. And you end up doing so many things with both hands.
"Phone boxes are another awkward thing to deal with. But I don't think about it a lot. I just learn to live with it."
Well today, the lefties have a chance to get a little of their own back.
For today is Left Handers Day 1998 - the seventh annual celebration of the Defiantly Cack-Handed and Proud of It Brigade - which apparently numbers one in ten of the population.
The day is organised by the Left Handers' Club, formed in 1989 to lobby for some consideration for its members and to offset all the negative stuff associated with being left-of-centre - in terms of dexterity (a word which in itself, thanks to those Latin-speaking Romans again, means "on the right-hand side"). There'll be a chain of events nationwide to mark the day - Left versus Right football matches, "Feelathon" competitions in which entrants have to identify left-hand objects by touch alone, carnival floats, education workshops.
In Oxford, staff using British Telecom's canteen will find it's been transformed into a "lefty" zone for the day.
Clerical assistant Jane House - herself a member of the LHC - said: "During our lunch break, we'll be having a few games which will give right-handed people the opportunity to use left-handed equipment. It'll be interesting to see how they cope with doing things back to front and there'll be a prize for the best effort."
She added: "When I was growing up, I was fortunate to have parents who accepted my left-handedness and bought me things like a pen with a left-handed nib, which improved my writing in a very few weeks. I use things like left-handed scissors, but using things like potato-peelers and can-openers can be tricky."
Still, there's always the consolation that many scientists believe left-handed people are more creative. And it never hampered Michelangelo much...
If you would like more information about the Left Handers' Club, write to: 57 Brewer Street, London W1R 3FB.
To receive a Philips Left Handers leaflet, send your name and address on a postcard to: Philips Left Handers leaflet, Infoplan Ltd, Ludgate House, 107-110 Fleet Street, London EC4A 2AB. By the left - a few celebrity southpaws Queen Victoria - left us amused
Prince William - left hand first, second in line to throne
Billy The Kid - the left-handed gun
Paul McCartney - fab lefty
Leonardo da Vinci - made an art of being left-handed Leo
John McEnroe - champion of the left
Jimi Hendrix - Voodoo Chile lefty
Henry Cooper - left hooker
Marilyn Monroe - left 'em gasping
Robert De Niro - method lefty
The Boston Strangler - monster lefty
Babe Ruth - baseball star left 'em reeling
Ross Kemp - turn left for Walford
Goldie Hawn - dizzy blondie lefty
Napoleon Bonaparte - left in exile
Joan of Arc - sainted lefty
Bob Geldof - ditto
Alexander the Great - left Macedonia to conquer known world
Charlie Chaplin - left 'em laughing Chewbacca the Wookie - Star Wars lefty
Melinda Messenger - left Swindon with her treasure chest
Nicholas Lyndhurst - left off being a plonker
Rik Mayall - left off being a B'Stard
Harpo Marx - left his Marx on the movie business
Dick Van Dyke - glad he left off that Mockney accent
Ringo Starr - one of three Beatles left
William Roach - Corrie lefty
Lt Comm Data - Star Trek android lefty
Leon Brittan - Tory lefty
Bill Clinton - still left in the White House - just
Pablo Picasso - left painting enriched
Nerys Hughes - Left Liver Birds
Terry Venables - left England job LEFT-handers are renowned for their creativity, so naturally there's a number of unusual ways to mark Left Handers Day.
In Oxford, unsuspecting staff at British Telecom are finding their canteen transformed into a "lefty zone" for the day, with left-handed eating compulsory.
Visitors to events around the country can experience using a host of left-handed gadgets.
This year, the Left Handers' Club has teamed up with appliance manufacturer Philips, which has produced a range of products suitable for both right and left-handed use. Philips is offering one of these appliances to 14 lucky readers of the Oxford Mail.
There are three stainless steel kettles to be won, as well as two traditional kettles, two filterline kettles, four 'Billy Blenders' and three Azur Excel irons. To win one of these fantastic prizes, simply answer the question below, then send it, together with your name and address, on a postcard to: Left Handers Club Competition, Promotions Dept, Oxford Mail, Osney Mead, Oxford OX2 0EJ.
Q: Which left-handed person from history was famously 'not amused'?
The closing date is next Friday, August 21, 1998. Usual rules apply and the editor's decision is final.
Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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