Coping with 'the change'

It happens to the 5.3m women, aged between 45 and 60, and takes about two years to get over, yet women know very little about it. Luckily the menopause is big news and help is at hand in Oxford.

The Wellbeing Clinic in Jericho is setting up a special Menopause Clinic and Boots, the chemist, has been touring the country giving lectures on what is commonly known as "the change".There are evening classes in Alternatives to HRT, courses called Woman To Woman and a group called Newstart who preach its never to late to learn. Katherine MacAlister finds out what it's all about and discovers the alternatives to HRT... Andy Fleming is positively glowing with health and looks much younger than her 53 years.

And despite running her own business, managing her life and seeing her family and grand-children she feels better than ever before.

One would never guess she was enduring the menopause at the moment. But then she has decided to tackle it wholeheartedly the natural way.

She regularly sees a nutritionist, an acupuncturist and a homeopath, as well as closely monitoring her diet.

It all began in June last year when she had her last period, woke up with night sweats, got hot flushes and experienced a loss of memory.

"I had been battling away with the council and got very stressed.

"But I knew something was wrong when I woke in the night drenched. I went straight to my nutritionist who put me on a strict diet with lots of Vitamin E when we realised I had started the menopause." Sandy cannot eat tomatoes, potatoes, peppers or aubergines, spicy food, red meat, smelly fish, citrus fruit, salt or dairy products. And the food she does eat is organic.

Her fridge bulges with soya milk, and Yofu yoghurt, organic poultry and sardines, while her cupboards are full of brown and black rice, olive oil, rye bread, porridge, nuts, seeds, pulses, fresh fruit and vegetables.

"It's all about balancing the body. Mine wasn't balanced. As soon as I had acupuncture and started my diet, I felt so much better yet I ate more. It is impossible to put on weight and the symptoms didn't come back." And she is keen to reassure women that the menopause is not the end, but a beginning.

The divorcee, who lives on her own, said: "It's time to think about what you want in life. Women are carers all that time, looking after their families. But after the menopause you can sit down and make some important decisions.

"Of course its time for reflection, about all the water that has gone under the bridge, but that can be positive.

"I love living on my own and have much more fun. I've stopped caring about what I look like and worrying about attracting men and I'm happier with what and who I am. There's more money around, I make all my own decisions and I'm finally my own person." But she knows that a lot of women have a very hard time during the menopause, so has set up the Menopause Clinic from her Jericho home.

"In an ideal world a woman's partner can help. They can recognise that she feels down, old and on the scrap heap.

"Husbands need to understand what their wives are going through and be sensitive and supportive, but unfortunately often they aren't."

Instead, she has gathered a group of nutritionists, sex therapists, acupuncturists, Reiki and shiatsu therapists, reflexologists, hypnotherapists, relationship counsellors and colonic irrigationists to help. The clinic will be launched next Spring, when anyone interested will be sent an information pack, a book list. They are then invited to attend an in-depth consultation about their needs.

In the meantime, any sufferers can make use of all the services separately at the Wellbeing Clinic.

For further information, call 01865 311407. Natural cures worked for me, says Ann, 43 Ann Bruce discovered she had a problem with her womb at the age of 39. The condition, known as endometriosis, meant having an immediate hysterectomy and the menopause followed soon after.

Having never had children, she descended into a clinical depression and it was only thanks to a change in diet and complementary medicine that she recovered.

"I'm still going through it today.

" If I eat or drink the wrong thing, I get hot flushes. Now I have the tools to put it right, so I can get on with my life," she said.

As a practising Reiki therapist and reflexologist, she will be forming part of the Menopause Clinic group and is looking forward to the challenge. "As I have been through it myself, I can pass on my insight to my clients," the 43-year-old said.

And she has also started up an evening class in Watlington - alternatives to HRT.

"I had to have medical treatment because I needed an operation.

"But things like stress and flushes can be treated naturally without pumping the body full of drugs.

"My body was in shock because the ovaries had been removed and was imbalanced.

"But I redressed that by eating the right food and doing Reiki on myself. "I needed to be re-regulated and to release all the toxins that had built up.

"My philosophy is 'stay in the know'. Treatment can help you dwell in the present and not worry about the past and future.

"The menopause is not a disease as the medical profession make out.

"Hopefully my classes will give women the initiative so they know what the options are and give them some choice."

Ann is also looking into starting up a menopause support group.

For further details on the classes, which are to begin in September, telephone 01491 833925. Diet is key Naturopath Sharyn Singer firmly believes you are what you eat. And she has seen the results.

"People who come in here with menopausal problems alter their diets and look like new women.

"There are so many things you can try before going on HRT to rebalance the hormones.

"Food like broccoli, soya products and rye bread have an instant effect. It's so basic and simple, but most women are still in the dark. I want to educate them because it's life-changing.

"Stimulants like coffee, tea and alcohol are very bad and dairy products can cause heat, resulting in flushes.

"Of course, you can't generalise and everyone is different. Some need more protein than others. But things like regular meals, not infrequent sugar top-ups, are vital."

The 49-year-old will be on hand to give advice at the Menopause Clinic. 'Missed out' Homeopath Lizzie Austin has never had children, but has already noticed signs that the menopause is on its way.

"It is about getting used to the fact that I won't be having kids this time around. I have missed out, but that's life.

"But through my clients and other therapists I have come to realise that the menopause is about empowerment.

"A lot of women emerge from it much stronger, so I feel OK about it," she said.

And Lizzie, 45, will be working at the Menopause Clinic finding natural remedies for symptoms, whether they be physical, mental or emotional. TV doc offers help If you saw TV doctor Hilary Jones in Oxford, it's all because of the menopause.

In a recent survey, Boots discovered that women were remarkably ill-informed about "the change".

So they recruited Dr Jones and other experts and invited them to tour the country offering advice.

Topics such as aromatherapy, diet, healthcare, exercise and HRT aimed to arm women with as much information about the menopause as possible.

If you missed it - fear not - a free booklet called You And The Menopause has been launched to coincide with the tour and is available from Boots' stores. Boost your confidence Newstart is partly funded by Oxford County Council to help people set up personal goals. This may include anything from learning a new profession, to education or taking up a hobby.

And although it's available to everyone, the organisation's new focus is on women going through the menopause.

Marjorie Bailey, the adult guidance worker for South Oxon, explained that a main symptom of the menopause is a lack of self-esteem.

"We want to build that up especially if women need a new direction. It's important to review all the possibilities because there's still the rest of your life to consider and it's never too late," she urged.

This might be voluntary work or a new career.

Marjorie will be attending Ann Bruce's evening classes in Watlington to see how she can help and what is needed.

For details, call 01235 537677. Learn to enjoy life in your 50s Woman To Woman is a new course for 45 to 60 year-old women focusing on the menopause and ageing.

It is being run by Pat Elliot, complementary therapist and founder of the Wantage Natural Health Centre.

"We're the baby boomers, the chicks that changed the face of fashion in the 60s, the women who fought for liberation in the 70s, we're not finished yet," she said.

"In the course of my work, I have seen many women who feel alone, confused and just plain frightened at what is happening to their bodies, minds and souls during the ageing process. From talking to them, I sensed that there was perhaps a feeling of fading into the background, almost to the point of invisibility and a certain sense of grieving for what had been lost.

"This contrasted with my own experience where I found reaching 50 was very positive and liberating, which I wanted to share with others. "We will be using the most up-to-date research available to give women a balanced view of the factually correct evidence so that they can make fully informed choices about their own healthcare."

The classes will also focus on body shape, colour, make-up, hairstyles and clothes.

The course runs for 13 weeks at Worcester College from September 8 and costs £250. Call 01235 527712. A few mid-life facts

Symptoms: Light or irregular periods, hot flushes, night sweats, anxiety, irritability, fatigue, lack of concentration, disorientation and lack of libido

Osteoporosis: During the menopause oestrogen levels fall which can cause rapid bone loss, leading to osteoporosis

Post menopause: Coronary heart disease increases to levels higher than for men

Helpful remedies: Evening Primrose Oil Capsules or Menopausal Daily Supplement System, Pure Essential

A helpline has been set up on 0181 444 5202 to deal with queries and worries about HRT. Share your crises with us at the The Oxford Mail has joined forces with Central TV for a special Relationships Week - a week of programmes and features which offer help and advice to couples in crisis and families at war.

The week, which runs from Sunday, August 30, to Sunday, September 6, will include the impact of a new baby; the seven-year itch and how to rekindle a relationship; empty nesters and dealing with the loneliness when children leave home and surviving separation.

If you have personal experience of any of the above and would like to share your experiences with others, please contact Oxford Mail Women's Editor Fiona Tarrant on 01865 425465.

Or you can write to her at The Oxford Mail, Osney Mead, Oxford, OX2 0EJ.

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