The Oxford Mail has teamed up with Central TV to bring you features every day this week on relationships. Today's topic is empty nesters and how you can look on the time you finally have to yourselves as a second honeymoon. Tonight on Central, Sherrie Hewson - better known to millions as Maureen Holdsworth of Coronation Street - takes over the Life Line slot at 6.55pm to talk to parents who find it difficult to adjust when the kids have all left home.

Audrey and Michael Fennymore saw their last child flee the nest four years ago but say it is not the end of the world, writes FIONA TARRANT

Retired Audrey, 63, and airport electrician Michael, 62, of Exeter Road, Kidlington, have three kids but without them, Audrey says she has never been busier.

"We found it fairly quiet to begin with but our life is quite different from other people's. Our middle son, Graham, goes motor racing and my husband got quite involved in that, but I still missed Jason, the baby, when he left.

"It was difficult but I was pleased he found someone he wanted to spend his life with," said Audrey, who now has two grandchildren. These days Audrey is kept busy gardening and helping her daughter Lisa, 37, with her business.

"Your life doesn't stop when your children leave home, because it opens another vein and you become part of their lives. We still do things together, like Sunday lunch, and sometimes we have what I call a board meeting, with everyone and their spouses."

Audrey and Michael enjoy walking and going out with friends.

"We have always been close but we do have more time for ourselves now. If something comes up suddenly, like an invitation, we know we can do it.

"It's nice to be able to do that without worrying about preparing freezer meals for the others, but having said that, it's nice to have them all round," Audrey admitted. As for running out of things to say and do, Audrey and Michael have no problems.

"There's a difference between a silence between companions and a hostile silence. It's not the end of the world when children leave home - they are just branching out with new lives.

"Even when they leave home, they come back and you are always there for them. When they start off on their own, you are still part of it, but you can't expect to be in on everything."

Relate spokesman Debbie Leek said: "It's important to acknowledge it is a significant life change and it's OK to feel a sense of loss - almost grief - that part of that life is over.

"It's important to be able to express those feelings, but on the other hand, it is another life opportunity for you to explore to see what you want from that stage of life and to try to get the sense of a new beginning."

She said that a lot of people may feel there is nothing for them to do to keep them occupied but believes if couples really try to think hard, they may find a variety of things to do together.

"This is an opportunity for you to deepen and strengthen the relationship because you have more quality time together.

"Some couples stay together just for the children, so it may be a period of re-evaluating that and clutching at things they have in common."

TIME FOR EACH OTHER

When Gordon and Irene Smith's 24-year-old son left home, the couple had time and space for each other.

"It was great," said Irene, 57, who lives in Eynsham and has been married for nearly 40 years.

"The house was quiet, it smelled of furniture polish and fresh flowers instead of chips, and Gordon and I had peace and quiet.

"Our son took his bed and wardrobe with him, plus his stereo, TV and video, so we redecorated the room together, choosing the furniture and carpets. For the first time we had a double spare room and we enjoyed doing that together. "We had time for chats without competing with the loud stereo or the never-ending ring of the telephone.

"But it wasn't a problem. Gordon and I got along fine. We've been married since I was 18 and he was 19, and we are each other's best friend," she said.

Then the one-year lease on her son's house ran out - and he moved back.

Said Irene: "He moved back in, with the bed, wardrobe, stereo, TV and the - now broken - video recorder, plus 200 boxes of assorted stuff!

"Our peace may have been shattered but it's nice to have him here while he saves up for a house. We loved our time together but we did miss him. The only thing we haven't missed is something that's returned - the smell of chips."

RELATIONSHIPS WEEK HOTLINE NUMBER: 0800 328 5678

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