Relationship Week: pre-nuptial agreements.

Relationship Week comes to a close tomorrow with a special update programme at 2.30pm presented by agony aunt Deidre Sanders. She looks at the contribution made by the region's newspapers, so look out for us. Pre-nuptial agreements are increasingly on the 'to do' list, along with choosing bridesmaids and ordering the rings Over recent years, particularly in the US, pre-nuptial agreements have become more commonplace among couples who are planning to marry. Such agreements are no longer simply the business of high-profile celebrities trying to protect their substantial financial assets in the event of a split.

Pre-nuptial agreements in America are increasingly on the "to do" list for newlyweds from all walks of life, along with choosing the bridesmaids and ordering the rings.

In the UK, the issue of pre-nuptial agreements and whether they should be enforceable under English law is now back on the Government agenda.

The Lord Chancellor's office recently expressed the advantages of entering into a legally binding pre-marital contract.

Among the potential benefits were that contracts would cut the number of property disputes in divorces and discourage couples who are not totally committed from taking the plunge, thereby reducing the number of failed marriages.

The question is, do we want a law to be introduced which will effectively support pre-marital agreements? Will this, as the Government proposes, go some way to strengthening the family unit? The proposal raises several practical and ethical issues. Firstly, the mere broaching of the subject among couples who are planning to marry will surely cause stress.

In essence, the preparation of a "pre-nup" means acknowledging that the marriage may be doomed and that, in the event of failure, the shared assets will be divided in a businesslike way, according to a contract.

Secondly, if a marriage lasts for a substantial time, the circumstances of either the husband or wife can change radically from those anticipated at the time of entering into the contract (by having children, for instance), making the agreement irrelevant. Current UK law ensures that "the court has a duty to consider all the circumstances of the case when considering financial relief as between the parties". Put more simply,the court will take into account the individual circumstances of the marital dispute and allocate financial support accordingly.

The acknowledgement of pre-nuptial agreements under UK law continues to be a controversial subject. While such agreements are likely to avoid litigation and make the whole unfortunate business of separation more "clinical", there will have to be a cultural change among those entering relationships.

Whether the "family" will be strengthened as a result is certainly debatable. Till our contract do us part... WEDDED bliss should carry a time limit - and it's nothing like "till death do us part", a new survey suggests.

In fact, one in three single people would consider entering matrimony on a ten-year contract, with options to renew.

The survey, conducted by NOP Solutions, follows social policy "think tank" suggestions that time-fixed marriage contracts would reduce bitter divorces and make couples work harder at their relationship.

With one in three marriages currently ending in divorce, the idea is for fixed-term, rather than lifelong, commitment. If a marriage fails, it ends without fuss after ten years or can be extended for a further ten years if the couple are happy.

Advocates of the idea say it's the solution for couples seeking commitment without the "for better or worse" finality implied by traditional marriage values. But it's an idea that doesn't fit, according to one marriage research authority, which argues that most people entering wedlock still look for a lifelong commitment from their partner.

However, the attitude of 60 per cent of men and women quizzed in the survey was that people no longer married "for life". A like number reckoned that marriage contracts would encourage partners to work at their relationship, rather than let it fall apart.

The survey also revealed that if ten-year marriage contracts were currently in place, one in four single people would sieze the opportunity, while one in five existing marrieds were all for their introduction. Do you have time for love? NEARLY half of British women would send their partners off to a school of romance if they could and almost one in five say they would have more time for love if they put a lock on the bedroom door.

The statistics come from this year's Romance Report, commissioned by Mills and Boon, publishers of romantic fiction.

The survey looked at women's views across 21 countries. The results expose some telling insights about British women's views on romance in the 1990s. Longing for love

Almost half of women think life moves too quickly for romance and 61 per cent wish their partners would make more time for them. More than a third don't let a day go by without doing something romantic for their loved one - but the same number long for more romance in their lives. DIY if you dare

Just under half of British women report that their partners would rather spend their spare time indulging in sport and DIY than kissing and cuddling with them. In all, 65 per cent longed for more love. Cupboard love

All is not yet lost, though - it seems the age of chivalry is not quite dead. More than three-quarters of women say their partners do take time to buy them Valentine's gifts. But it's romantic crunch time in Britain, with nearly two-thirds saying they don't have enough time for lovemaking. Romantic reads

If real-life love fails them, women feel they can escape into the pages of a book. More than half of those interviewed said they always had time to read a romantic novel and 20 per cent said a good love story beat a hot bubble bath as a real treat. Mills & Boon has also commissioned a Valentine 'Vox Pop' survey of both men and women which reveals that British Romeos and Juliets are still a traditional and faithful lot! Valentine capers

An overwhelming 92 per cent of British women and men want to spend Valentine's Day with their partners, and two-thirds will celebrate with a romantic tete-a-tete over dinner. A love-lorn seven per cent would prefer to be party-poopers and stay in to wash their hair. On the cards

Almost one in three British men and women expect to send and receive one Valentine's Day card, a quarter hope to send and receive up to five, and an optimistic seven per cent are expecting more than 15. Useful numbers:

Citizen's Advice Bureau, Central Office: 0171 833 2181

Relate, Head Office: 01788 573241

National Family Mediation: 0171 383 5993

The Law Society (if you would like to contact a solicitor): 0171 242 1222

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.