Grant and Tiff lurch dismally from one crisis to the next while Percy Sugden was seldom known to utter a cheery word, writes Gill Smith. But the misery in Albert Square and Coronation Street is certainly not casting a shadow over the lives of viewers.

In fact, new evidence reveals soap addicts are likely to be happier than the rest of the population.

The astonishing finding has been uncovered by Oxford professor Michael Argyle, who has spent nearly 15 years studying one of mankind's most elusive mysteries - what makes us happy?

Now the 73-year-old Emeritus reader in happiness at Oxford University's Wolfson College is to publish his report on the secrets of lasting happiness in America next year, after analysing thousands of questionnaires with a team of researchers.

One of his most surprising discoveries was that people who watch television soap operas are happier than those who do not.

"The results on television-watching are most perplexing," said Prof Argyle, who lives in Woodstock Road. "People who watch soap operas seem to gain a great deal of happiness from that. One theory is that through doing it they are making imaginary friends."

But people who watch lots of television other than soaps are less happy than those who switch off, according to the study. He added that he did not distinguish between the various soaps and, although he watched a lot of television himself, he didn't keep a regular date at the Rovers or Queen Vic.

Prof Argyle discovered that money does not guarantee happiness either and those on middle incomes were just as happy as the very rich. The trappings of luxury - oil paintings, jewellery and smart clothes - make us no happier at all.

Prof Argyle said: "Satisfaction and happiness do not increase with income, unless you get paid more than you expected in the light of your education and job."

The Oxford team discovered that some people were often happier at work than they were out of the workplace.

But one of the greatest recipes for happiness, especially among men, was marriage. Those divorced or separated were found to be even more miserable than those whose partner had died, while extra-marital affairs tended to bring sadness. Prof Argyle said: "Marriage provides companionship, particularly during leisure time, and a great deal of emotional help and support, especially for men. Having two people who give you support and company could be a good thing but it rarely works out that way."

The key to happiness, according to the study, is having a close relationship and a network of friends.

Those who attended church were much happier than non-believers while researchers also discovered that playing sport could bring pleasure.

And the professor himself? "I am made happy by the same things as everybody else, I suppose - a close relationship with my wife, Sonia, a family including four children and nine grandchildren, friends, satisfying work and the right kind of personality."

And there is one other thing - his home city, Oxford. "Oxford makes me very happy," he said. Happiness is...

Having one close relationship and a network of friends

Marriage

Watching soap operas

Going to church regularly

Playing sport - especially with other people ..and it isn't...

Divorce or separation

Watching television, other than soaps

Extra-marital affairs Tuning in to switch off THE giveaway line in Prof Argyle's findings is the one about soapwatchers making "imaginary friends", says Mail TV critic George Frew.

I, too, used to have an imaginary friend - but then I was more of a soap-dodger at the time, being just four years old. But ask anyone connected to shows like EastEnders or Coronation Street and they'll readily admit that there are some confused people out there who believe that characters such as Curly Watts and Grant Mitchell actually live, breathe and pay income tax. And there's a rich irony in the professor apparently discovering that making a make-believe pal of the likes of Misery-Guts Mitchell or Clueless Curly actually makes you happy.

If either of them or any of their sort moved next door to you, the value of your property would drop faster than Bill Clinton's trousers at a convention of cheerleaders.

If watching soap operas makes you happy, it makes you happy in the way that a couple of large whiskies does - by taking your mind off the problems of everyday life for a short spell.

Either that, or you cheer up because you look at Grant, Curly, Rita, the Dingles, the Duckworths et al, and you think - thank God I'm not like them and praise the Lord I don't live in soapland, where the bubbles of happiness exist just to be burst, three times a week and twice on Sundays.

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