Maria Davies found life an enormous struggle when she gave birth to twins with serious health problems three and a half years ago, writes GEMMA SIMMS. The 34-year-old single mum, of St Anne's Road, Banbury, gave birth at 36 weeks to Will, who was born with liver disease, and Oliver, who has athetoid cerebral palsy.
"Will was born naturally but Oliver was born by emergency Caesarean, suffered from a lack of oxygen and now he's a quadriplegic," explained Maria.
Oliver can't eat and has to be tube-fed. He can't speak or walk, despite being mentally very bright.
"Life was hell at first because I couldn't get out. I was feeding Ollie hourly through his tube, as he could only take a bit at a time, and breast-fed Will every hour because he was throwing it up. "My health visitor asked if I had heard of the voluntary organisation Home-Start and suggested I got help from them, but being a new mother, I wanted to cope on my own. As I'm a nursery nurse by profession, I think it was expected I would cope - but I was going mad," admitted Maria.
As the boys got older, Maria found it impossible to do ordinary things with them and felt they were missing out. So she decided to give Home-Start a try.
"At first I wasn't sure what it would mean for me as the house was always a mess and I was worried it would unsettle the children.
"But I gave it a go. I met Pat New, the volunteer, for the first time 18 months ago and it's brilliant. I'd spent the first 18 months of the twins' lives being a prisoner in my own home but Pat became an extra pair of hands and is now a friend."
The scheme has allowed Maria to take the boys out on trips, and Pat has also been there for Maria to talk to when the going got tough. "It was easy from the beginning. There are so many physical things that we wouldn't have been able to do otherwise," said Maria.
"I had been so frustrated because I knew what I wanted to do but I couldn't do it. It's changed everything for us and I'm very grateful to Pat."
Mum-of-six Kate Underwood is thanking Banbury Home-Start for the help it gave her when she needed it most.
The 45-year-old from Hook Norton is repaying that help by organising a concert to raise money. It's her way of letting them know how grateful she is for all their support, because she doesn't think she would have managed otherwise.
She said: "I always regarded myself as very self-sufficient and I'd had a hard time of it with a broken marriage. I'd married at 24 after graduating from art school, had a baby and thought everything was hunky-dory until my husband left me when the baby was a year old.
"I went down into a spiral of poverty and despair." But things became even more difficult for her. Kate met someone else and had two more children, but then discovered to her horror that she was expecting twins.
"I had five children and then my partner and I agreed to go our own separate ways. The twins were very hard work and I really struggled," she said
For two years, Kate couldn't leave her village and had to rely on her local shop.
"Can you imagine trying to get two children in a buggy on to a bus? I was very proud and prickly then and didn't want help from social services.
"My health visitor told me about a befriending organisation called Home-Start who could help me out once a week to give me more space."
At first she wasn't keen, but eventually Kate agreed to try it.
"They sent me a lovely lady and I felt I had a friend because she was so nice. She would help me with my shopping, we would go on day trips and do all the things I had wanted to do with my children but hadn't been able to. "We had never been out as a family and the little ones had never seen the sea before, so it was marvellous."
Kate then had another baby, Rory - now three - and is glad Home-Start was there to help.
"I thought it would be very nice if I could give something back to other women who need Home-Start for many other reasons but I can't drive so can't visit people.
"Instead I am organising a big benefit concert at St Mary the Virgin Church in Banbury on November 21 and Isla St Clair will be topping the bill."
Tickets are £10, which includes two glasses of wine, and all money raised will go to Home-Start. *Home-Start Banbury is a free voluntary visiting scheme in which helpers offer support, friendship and practical assistance to families with at least one child under five.
Volunteers are nearly always parents themselves who will visit regularly - usually once a week. They offer friendship and support, perhaps play with the children or take them to the park while you have some time to yourself, or just share problems over a cup of tea.
Volunteers are not free babysitters or housework drudges, although they are usually prepared to help out when they can.
They do not replace helpful, professional people, such as health visitors or social workers, but will support you through difficult times.
Funded by Oxfordshire County Council, Home-Start is a fully independent registered charity. For information, telephone 01295 266358.
Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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