Jilted Neil Dawson knew well enough how he would be labelled, writes Reg Little.

"I'm not a stalker or a pervert or anything like that," he said after being convicted at Oxford magistrates' court.

The court had heard how 30-year-old Dawson, of Cardigan Street, Oxford, had harassed his ex-girlfriend, the woman he loved, who had aborted the baby that she believed was his.

He had banged on her door, stood around her home and bombarded her with letters. In the popular imagination the stalker remains a sinister unknown figure, who chooses his victim on a whim. But as recent cases in Oxfordshire show, the reality is very different.

The stalkers going before our courts are usually known to their victims all too well. Instead of being sadistic strangers, they usually emerge as ex-lovers who just cannot take being shown the door.

When the anti-stalking legislation was introduced in the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, the new law's unveiling coincided with a number of high-profile stalking cases. One case involved a dental nurse, who bore a resemblance to the actress Pamela Anderson. The EastEnders star Martine McCutcheon, was also being targeted by a man alleged to have turned his flat into a "shrine" to the actress who played Tiffany in the BBC soap.

Only this week the Law Society reinforced the view of the stalker as the dangerous celebrity-obsessed loner. The society says in an article sent to the Oxford Mail yesterday: "There is an expression these days that says you have only made it to the big time when you've got your own personal stalker."

After showing such appalling lack of sensitivity, coming as the murder hunt for Jill Dando's killer continues, the article goes on to urge stalker victims not to approach their tormentors but see a solicitor. Secretary Mary White, of Cowley, Oxford, found herself relying on the new law after her 12-year affair ended with a married man. He had bombarded her with phone and fax messages. "I never allowed myself to be frightened by him," said Miss White, 36.

"He was behaving more like a lovesick teenager than a middle aged man with two grown up children.

"I loved him but when I finished our relationship, he tried too hard to win me back and started following me everywhere. I was constantly looking over my shoulder."

Nor should the stalkers going before courts be categorised as dim-witted males with nothing better to do. Mother-of-two Anna Fink, 40, of Summertown, endured two years of harassment from a London barrister. She had ended the relationship after he became too possessive. But then the abusive calls started, and she once received 35 calls over the space of two days. The path from domestic rift to stalking can be a surprisingly short one.

The law now means that anyone convicted of stalking could face a prison term of up to five years. Victims can also take civil action, with county courts able to grant injunctions and order culprits to pay compensation.

But it is a frightening thought that for some women, the stalker they will one day report is the man now lying next to them.

Story date: Thursday 13 May

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