Two lives were shattered when a mother accused her babysitter of rape. A judge jailed him for three years before his conviction was overturned on appeal and he was freed. Now he is patching up his life at his Witney home, while she cares for her baby in Oxford. They have not seen or spoken to each other since the court case. Both are victims of the ordeal, and in separate exclusive interviews, they tell Paul Harris their very different stories. Her story Betrayal, disbelief, bitterness. These words circle above her like vultures over their prey as she sits trembling in her modest Oxford home.

To this day, she remains convinced that Adrian State brutally raped her to act out a ghoulish bedroom fantasy. Perched on the edge of her sofa, she tells of her renewed fear at Mr State's release from prison, and at the prospect of ever meeting him again.

She says: "It was rape because there was a struggle - I was really frightened. He humiliated me, he played out some kind of fantasy. He was aggressive and I thought I was going to get really hurt." While she describes the alleged attack, her young child crawls on to her lap and starts crying, wanting some attention too. We stop talking at that moment because she does not want her child to learn of her ordeal. Once the baby is settled in the bedroom, she continues.

"He was very pleased with himself. I do not think for a minute he thought I would actually report it. Then he went off to college as if nothing had happened.

"I rang my good friend, who appeared as a witness, and I phoned the police ten minutes after it happened. They were here very quickly and before I knew it I was taken off to a safe house and I spent all day there with the surgeon and made a statement. "It was a very harrowing day."

Both she and Mr State readily admit they were naive before entering into their relationship. They both confess to having regrets. But while he categorically denies laying a finger on her, she says the opposite.

"It was a difficult relationship and it came to a head one day. I felt there was always the possibility of violence and tried not to provoke him. I held out and hoped it would become better.

"He inflicted bad bruising on one occasion. I did take photographs of them which did not come out very well. I always knew he was capable of it because he was quite aggressive - he used to rant and rave. "I do not think he had ever had a give-and-take relationship, while I had not had a relationship for many years. I was chasing a career in London and had a good social life, but I was obviously giving off the wrong signals."

She cannot now believe Mr State was acquitted, having served 14 months of a three-year prison sentence.

"All through the court case he lied about everything that did happen. I felt I was consistent with the truth all through.

"I just feel he could not even take his sentence like a man and I have had no apology from him or his family. I think they just needed somebody to blame. I think they are in denial. "This appeal is a nonsense because there was no new evidence. Nothing had changed but he managed to get access to people who would help him. I believe there should be an appeal system, but only when there is good evidence or a real groundswell of feeling that somebody has been wronged.

"It just seems crazy, because the jury were there to hear it for themselves. It is basically an insult to the jury. They made their decision on the evidence. The acquittal is a complete surprise and I am still in shock."

Unlike many others in a similar situation, she is not ashamed of what happened. She sought what she considered justice and, having achieved it once, feels betrayed by the legal system. But she has not ruled out finding happiness again. "I have got friends who have got nice partners and I think they are very lucky. I think how I could have been so stupid to trust him. You trust someone and they abuse it, then your trust means nothing." His story Inside the walls of Bullingdon Prison, convicted rapist Adrian State taught other prisoners how to read. He wasn't seeking redemption for his crime, simply trying to retain his sanity.

Mr State, 44, spent 14 months branded as a sex attacker before being cleared at the Appeal Court of any crime. Today he is slowly coming to terms with life outside a cell, trying to find work while cleaning up his small flat in Windrush Close, Witney.

The harsh prison regime left the science graduate "shattered". He opted to do his time alongside other sex offenders - including child molesters and rapists - rather than be put in a wing where he could be targeted by "regular" criminals. He says: "In prison one feels so impotent - you are powerless. There are petty rules that are so oppressive.

"In the outside world you can rage or protest and it may get you somewhere. In prison, all it will achieve is that you get a harder regime. You realise very quickly there is very little you can actually do when you are in prison. It is a great leveller."

It is nearly a month since Mr State's rape conviction was overturned by the Appeal Court because the judge's summing up at the original trial was "inadequate" and meant the jury may not have reached a safe verdict. He has been welcomed home by his family and close friends - people who stood by him, wrote to him while he languished in prison.

The Oxford Brookes University graduate says: "My mum went through a lot. Actually, people were very nice to her because they know the family very well in Witney, but some people shunned her and she had quite a hard time. She kept this from me when I was in prison."

Mr State was advised by his barrister to go on Rule 43 for sex offenders - which means they are separated from other prisoners for their own protection. "I did at the first prison I went to, and that was not very nice at all because you are mixing with some people you really do not want to be mixing with.

"Admittedly there were some people in there for quite minor things, but there are some serious paedophiles and nobody wants to mix with people like that - it is not nice at all.

"In prison I just threw myself into every activity going. I set up a reading scheme for a lot of inmates who cannot read or write. And I became a Listener - that's the equivalent of a Samaritan - to befriend prisoners who are suicidal." He started his jail term in Bullingdon, near Bicester, but was later transferred to Littlehey Prison in Cambridgeshire.

"If you are straight with people and tell them what you are in for and just be up front about it, people tend to accept that. You cannot hide anything in prison, it is too closed an environment.

"Rape is a pretty horrible crime but it is not paedophilia or something like that." Mr State was jailed for three years after being convicted in August last year, amid allegations that he raped a woman while staying at her house to babysit her child. He was arrested and granted bail for ten months before his trial.

He says: "There was proof sexual intercourse took place but that is all. She says I beat her. There were no bruises on her, no marks on here. What do you call evidence? There is evidence sex took place but there was certainly not evidence it was forced.

"I was stupid. I went to court completely unprepared. I did not even bother to get character witnesses - I told my barrister I would not need them. It was ridiculous, there was no evidence. I was very naive. "I got a real shock when I went to court. My barrister wanted to cross-examine her and I said no, just the minimum. I do not agree with women being pressurised in the dock.

"I was very nice about it, but everybody since has told me how stupid I was.

"I cannot feel bitterness towards her. I am a big believer that if you hate somebody it comes back on you and you feel twisted inside. You have got to forget it. You have got to put it in the past."

Now Mr State believes the legal system could be improved by keeping the names of both the defendant and the alleged victim anonymous. He also suggests that Scottish legal rules are adopted in English courts, with the jury able to return a verdict of "not proven". He is slowly rebuilding his life and may find work in the electronics business, a career he pursued before going to university.

Some people will never be fully convinced of his innocence. He has heard the phrase "no smoke without fire" many times.

But prison gave him the chance to exercise humanity for others. Now he wants others to do the same for him.

Story date: Monday 01 November

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.