Cherie Blair is having a baby aged 46, and although more and more women are choosing to have children later in life, one in five don't want them at all. Katherine MacAlister talks to three childless women about their decision never to hear the patter of tiny feet. *Kathy Colman, 46, is an interior designer who loves children, but never wanted any of her own.

Her mother remembers her daughter proclaiming precociously aged three that she would never get married or have children.

"Having children is the only irrevocable thing a woman can do. She can get out of a marriage or relationship and can even take a pet back to the animal centre but having children cannot be undone. It's for life and a huge responsibility."

"I went on the pill when I was 19 and as far as I was concerned children then became a question of choice." And although Kathy did eventually get married in 1994 after living with her partner for five years, she hasn't changed her mind about having children.

"I wasn't against the idea. But I decided I would wait until I had an overwhelming urge and need for children and that just never happened," she explains.

"I'm about to have a hysterectomy and have sat myself down and forced myself to think about whether this is really it and if I regretted my decision. But I can honestly put my hand on my heart and say that I don't.

"But the whole topic is quite a minefield. The worst thing is that if you don't have kids people think you fall into one of two camps: either that you've been trying for years and are infertile, or you are horrible and hate children. When people realise that I'm not in either camp they relax and are genuinely curious." Historically the timing was never great for children. In her last relationship she was cast in the role of "wicked stepmother" by her two stepsons: "I felt there that I was getting all the negative parts of being a mother without any of the positives," she remembers. "It was a very good contraceptive."

And when she met her husband Bob, who's ten years older than her, he already had grown-up children and had done his procreating.

Another reason for her childless stance is the role her own parents played: "My parents were so brilliant. They had their own lives but they did so much for us, and if I had kids I would have to put in as much time and effort as they did, and I wasn't ready for that." "My friends with kids say I've just thought too much about the whole thing and that if they'd thought as hard they would probably never had had any either," she says.

"But I do love children. When my sister had her child I felt an overpowering love for him and remember driving to hospital far too fast because I was so excited about seeing him."

As for the future Kathy is still working hard, and can't imagine a time when she won't be. "I think I've got the best job in the world, and a very interesting life," she says. She has her nieces, nephews and step-grandchildren to amuse: "We have a wonderful time together and then I give them back, that's the way I like it."

"I think having someone to look after you when your old is a terribly selfish reason for having children," she said. *Henri Connell has looked after 25 children in her 23 years of nannying, but has never had any of her own.

The 42 year-old is now comfortable with this but admitted that for many years she did yearn to have her own kids.

"I knew I'd be a good mum because of my job and just presumed it would be a natural progression," she says. But a failed four-year marriage put paid to that and she's now very glad she didn't go ahead and have kids then.

"I always saw myself as married with a large family when I was younger, so when I got hitched I presumed it would happen. But things went sour after a year and I'm relieved I didn't have any." But she was a step-mother during that time to a ten and 12 year-old and really enjoyed the experience.

"For a few years I wondered if I'd meet someone else and have some, but it hasn't happened. And now the right time has passed.

"I've got my own life now and am very busy. When I'm not working I'm running or out socialising and just wouldn't have the time.

"I can't go through all those late nights and exhaustion now or have the sole responsibility for someone else. I'm too selfish. But I'm not the sort of person who will look back in regret either. I just get on with life." But Henri, from Abingdon, agrees that being a nanny has helped to subdue her yearning for children. "If it wasn't for my job I'm sure I would have brooded much more and felt deprived. But I look after children all day every day and the only thing I'm missing out on are the late nights.

"But, you do get attached to the children you look after, especially the ones you nurture from birth," she says.

Now single, Henri is often asked if she would have them on her own, but definitely feels it's too late. "My mother was sad that I never had children, not for her, but for me, because she knew how good I was with them.

"Maybe if I'd had a lot of money and could have stopped working I might have, but that hasn't happened. "It's certainly not because I think I'm too old. It just seems to have been one of those things that slipped me by."

Henri first became a nanny aged 19 and has worked all over the world. She is moving back to The States next year where she's finally retiring from the nannying and starting a job in the wine business.

"Who knows, I might meet someone over there and want to have kids with them. It's unlikely and I'm happy with my life as it it, but you never know what's round the corner," she says.

*Christina Vary never wanted children, but when she met her current boyfriend she spent a couple of years pondering whether the time was finally right. But then she realised that she would be having them more for him than for her and decided against the idea.

Thirteen years later, she is still living happily with Clive and they spend their spare time travelling round the world and enjoying each others company.

"I hummed and hawed over it for several years because my boyfriend is nine years younger than me and I thought he might want them. I was in a relationship with someone I really loved and thought it might be the right move. But when I made my decision and told Clive he didn't mind at all." Now aged 48, Christina had a pregnancy scare four years ago which made her rethink about the issue. She realised she had made the right decision the first time round and has no regrets. The health worker from Eynsham says: "I realised at 44 I was just too old for children and it was almost a relief. If I'd wanted children and had those yearning feelings they would have happened, but they didn't.

"It's not that I don't like kids. I look after my friend's children all the time, but I'm always glad to give them back afterwards.

"I never want to run around that hard and my friends are jealous of my time and the holidays I can go on," she laughs.

Story date: Friday 10 December

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.