There are 200 different kinds of cold, writes Amanda Castleman. I am slowly - but methodically - working through every single one.
Millennium bug, indeed. At least I'm not alone - 400,000 colds afflict the British population at any one moment.
But this year the National Health Service is bracing itself for more suffers of colds and flu then ever before.
A longer than usual holiday period this year, with more merriment and being awake longer to celebrate than usual, will all take their toll on our immunse systems.
The result? A possible epidemic of colds and flu. The viruses spread through droplets coughed and sneezed into the air. That's why parents constantly nag about washing hands and keeping one's fingers away from nose and eyes. It's a messy, germ-laden world out there.
The medical establishment now agrees lack of sleep, excessive fatigue, psychological stress and the menstrual cycle play a part, as does Christmas. The holiday season is notorious, with 75 per cent more colds than the balmy summer months.
Surprisingly, cold weather isn't to blame. The festive stress causes your body to churn out more of a hormone called cortisol. This cuts down on the number of antibodies which can fight off invading viruses, according to the Common Cold Centre at Cardiff University. You can't even escape on holiday. Travelling exposes you to new and unfamiliar strains of virus - even the flight puts you at risk. Breathing recycled air - and viruses - invites infection, especially as the protective mucus in your nose dries out.
Of course, there are more cures than colds. Family, friends and complete strangers will plague you with advice. Personally, I favour the prescription of Dr Carl Carnetski, of Wilkes University in Pennsylvania. He believes sex is the answer.
The professor found that sex one or twice a week was "the first line of defence against colds and flu". People on the lurve cure produce a certain vital chemical, immunoglobin A. But don't overdo it. Three times isn't lucky and will reverse your immunoglobin glut. Chaste snifflers may prefer alternative therapies, which abound. Many traditions emphasise prevention. "You need to be tuned up for the different seasons, then you can sail through," recommends Sandy Fleming, who runs the Wellbeing Clinic of Natural Healthcare in Jericho, Oxford.
"Echinacea helps immensely, and vitamin C. I take honeysuckle, four tablets four times a day. It staves off colds, in fact, I haven't had one for ten years and I'm around sick people all the time."
The clinic houses 54 therapists, including naturopath and homeopath Sven Sommers. He offers some practical tips: "Follow the signs of the body to rest and bring energy levels up. During the grey, long English winter, you must exploit the sun while you can. It activates vitamin D, which is important for calcium absorption. "Pay attention to nutrition," Sven warns. Except for his soft German accent, he sounds like my mother. She liked nothing better than trotting out the old wives' wisdom: "milk makes mucus".
He laughs. "It does, it does. Stay away from cheese, but a little bit of protein, like tofu, is very good and helps your body produce immunoglobins."
As for weedy potions, he recommends: "Steam inhalations of lemon oil and peppermint, or Tiger Balm, which can also be spread on the chest. Certain herbs help coughs like thyme. Cowslip rude is good for phlegm, but if the cough is older try colsfoot. Add a teaspoon of herbs to boiling water to make tea." Whatever you do, avoid the doctor unless it looks dire. Colds are viral, so antibiotics don't work and can only treat secondary bacterial infections. You'll only clutter up the GP's surgery and be given that infuriatingly bland advice: take two aspirins and rest.
Story date: Tuesday 28 December
Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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