Catch of the day

Remember, I remember . . . I remember Jimmy Hill's chin in the days when people used to boast about having access to BBC2. I recall him sitting there in all his black and white glory on Match of The Day, pontificating about all things football, waxing lyrical on the beautiful game.

And now the beautiful game has done a bunk and Match of The Day will be no more. No longer will men be able to stumble home from the pub in eager anticipation of edited highlights on BBC1.

No longer will the famous theme -called, incidentally, 'Offside' - herald a late Saturday evening feast of football on the telly.

It really is too bad. They are tampering with our traditions here and as usual, it all comes down to filthy lucre.

This is the British Broadcasting Corporation we are talking about, the very people we pay good licence fees to, the organisation which should be able to guarantee a glimpse of this sporting life to everyone in the country. And what have they got left to broadcast? Darts, bowls and snooker, that's what. A pub game for toothless bozos with beer guts, a gentle session for the old folks and another game for men with dodgy hairstyles dressed as waiters in some seedy, post-war Northern railway hotel.

Match of The Day was the only credible sports programme left and now they've lost it.

By the hairs on the beard of Jimmy Hill's chin, I swear that this is nothing short of a national tragedy.

Some of us grew up listening to Jimmy chattering away about the fierce passion of people like Dave McKay and Norman 'Bites Yer Legs' Hunter; rhapsodising on the sublime skills of Denis Law, Georgie Best and Bobby Charlton; eulogising the wayward talents of Stanley Bowles and Rodney Marsh. Match of The Day was ours and now it's gone and things can never be the same again, even if ITV decides to crank it up in another thinly-disguised format.

The emperor's new clothes will fool no-one, even if the emperor in question is Mr Desmond Lynam.

I suppose we should have suspected that the writing was on the wall when Des decided to leg it across to ITV for the very same reasons that the Beeb no longer has Match of The Day.

There's an amusing joke about Des doing the Internet rounds at the moment. It goes like this: Des, Alan Hansen and Andy Gray are wiped out in a plane crash. They get up to the Pearly Gates, only to find God waiting for them, seated on His Throne of Glory. "Before I decide to let you in," says God, "tell me why I should."

Up steps Hansen. "Well, Lord," he says, "I believe I played the game in the sort of honest, open style that was sporting and gracious and I believe it may have inspired many." "Fair enough," says God. "Come in." Then Andy Gray approaches and says: "I believe, Lord, that I gave 100 per cent as a player and that gave encourgement to lots of youngsters."

"Sounds good to me," says God, "In you come."

So then Des steps up, gazes at God and says: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."

You cannot discard icons like Mr Lynam easily, although the Boy Lineker has done great, in football parlance.

But whither now for the Jug-Eared Giant, Tall, Dark and Hansen and Mark 'Cottage-loaf haircut' Lawrenson? Well, over to the Other Side would seem to be the obvious answer.

They'd probably even be able to accommodate Trevor 'Sitting on the fence' Brooking, or 'My good friend Mr Brookley", as the great Pele once called him. But it does not matter. Match of The Day was BBC1 and BBC1 it should have stayed. Shifting it to ITV is like Liverpool crossing Stanley Park and playing at Goodison.

It will not do.

The BBC's motto is "Nation shall speak peace unto nation". Well now, for a few dollars more, a nation is weeping into its beer.

Saturday nights will never be the same again.

And I suppose, like Jimmy Hill, we'll just have to take it on the chin...