The Queen is being asked to open Thame's £4m swimming pool next year - because Olympic rowers Matthew Pinsent and Steve Redgrave are too expensive.
Pinsent: Too costly The town council's swimming pool committee backed down when they heard Matthew Pinsent would charge £7,500 and Sir Steve Redgrave £15,000.
So the committee, led by chairman and deputy mayor Mike Welply, decided to go for "alternative celebrities".
The committee topped the list with the Queen. If she cannot manage it, they will ask local MP Boris Johnson... or Euro-MP James Elles... or the Minister for Sport... or the town's youngest and oldest residents.
Town mayor Don Butler said: "The wording is a little unfortunate, but this was never meant as an insult to Her Majesty. "She could never be anyone's 'alternative celebrity'.
"We would love to see the Queen open our pool next year."
The idea will go before the council's policy committee this week.
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